Was it a bad day, or just a bad moment in your day? It's tempting to throw the whole day away after receiving a negative comment.
All of us have the desire to do our best, to be the best, and to please others. The only way to be the best and to improve is to read the negative feedback and use it to our advantage.
When we receive bad feedback, first we need to make sure we differentiate criticism from feedback.
🤝 Feedback is about providing positive and negative comments in a way that is non-confrontational.
🫵 Criticism is about passing judgement and fault finding.
The next time you receive negative feedback, read it once, leave it, come back to it, and see how you can use it to make a positive change.
Let's talk!
Engaging In Negotiations!
So often when we are in emotional situations we go straight to problem-solving. It is said that men are the worst at this, we just want to help you to get on with things and move forward.
Just like a book has a beginning, middle and end to complete the story, so do negotiations/mediations. However, the order is different.
1️⃣ Start in the middle, what are you facing you right now? Ask the other person, "So what is important to you right now?" Or perhaps, "Let's look at where we are at this moment." This brings everyone to the same state and focuses on the topic.
2️⃣ The next step is to go back in time to examine how you got to the present point. While it is sometimes good to be in the here and now then move forward, in emotional situations you need to find out the underlying issues. Say "I would like to know more about how we came to this point" or "Tell me what happened prior to this point so that I can get a better understanding of your situation."
By doing this, you allow the other person to explain their situation, they will tell you how they 'feel' about things as the story unfolds, and you allow them to vent. Because they vent as they talk to you, their logic brain will engage.
An acknowledged emotion is disarmed. Therefore, use words such as frustrating, confusing, complicated, annoying, etc. Why, because this is the underlying reason (the cause) of anger and rage.
3️⃣ The third step is to move on with a mutual agreement. So often we suggest something first and wait for the response. Try asking the other person "So what would you like to see as an outcome?" If you have allowed the other person to vent adequately and have listened through active listening skills, you would by now have gained a rapport.
By asking them to go first you have made it about them and they will feel obliged to allow you to suggest a resolution.
Stop problem-solving, allow an open discussion, and go back over the past before moving forward. Your negotiation/mediation will be much easier.
Let's talk!
Do You Know Your Warning Signs?
Do you know your warning signs?
Sometimes we get so engrossed in our work that we forget about taking time out to recharge the batteries. The last thing that we want to do when we're busy is slow down. We're afraid of getting more behind, or just never know what the next email/letter/phone call may bring.
After years of trial and error, I have worked out that when the corners of my eyes start to burn it is time to slow down for a day or two. Others I have talked with have a similar warning sign - a knot in the stomach, sore or tight shoulders, a heavy chest perhaps, or some other physiological sign.
For every negative psychological effect, there is a physiological response. When we worry about something it will manifest in the body somewhere.
Find what your indicator is and listen to it. Rest when you need to, to be in a slump if you need to, to feel down if that is the emotion you are feeling at the moment. And, when the time is right, - get up, dress up, front up - and get back into life once again.
Let's talk!
Changing A Habit.
160 days until the new year - halve that, and we're left with two "sets" of 80 days.
You might be thinking, it's great you can do maths Lance, but what does this mean for me?
Well, it takes 60 to 80 days to change a habit. Although you may start to notice a change after 21 days, and it becomes easier from that point forward - it generally takes 60 to 80 days to change a habit.
Even though we’re in the second half of the year, there's still plenty of time to transform one to two habits before 2025 arrives.
How often have you said, "I'll wait until after Christmas," "I'll start on New Year's Day," or "I'll change when..."?
By the time those milestones arrive, you'll already have a strong foundation and be well on your way to success if you start now.
So what's one goal you've been putting off? What habits do you want to change before the new year?
Don't wait for the 'when' or the 'right time.' The time to change is now. Right now.
Let's talk!
Do You Know Your Warning Signs?
Do you know your warning signs?
Sometimes we get so engrossed in our work that we forget about taking time out to recharge the batteries. The last thing that we want to do when we're busy is slow down. We're afraid of getting more behind, or just never know what the next email/letter/phone call may bring.
After years of trial and error, I have worked out that when the corners of my eyes start to burn it is time to slow down for a day or two. Others I have talked with have a similar warning sign - a knot in the stomach, sore or tight shoulders, a heavy chest perhaps, or some other physiological sign.
For every negative psychological effect, there is a physiological response. When we worry about something it will manifest in the body somewhere.
Find what your indicator is and listen to it. Rest when you need to, to be in a slump if you need to, to feel down if that is the emotion you are feeling at the moment. And, when the time is right, - get up, dress up, front up - and get back into life once again.
Let's talk!