Movies are a favourite hobby of mine, I try to watch one each night. Although Action is my preferred genre, some of the best quotes come from family movies.
Here are 5 great quotes from family movies, and my interpretation of them.
✨ "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin, Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin
I never had self-belief, I relied on others to help me. If I took the pills and followed the instructions I would be okay, right? Maybe. Yet if I believed I could do it, had to do it, there was nothing left but to do it, then perhaps a transformation might occur. It did.
Take it from someone who wondered how people could let themselves get so unwell, who thought that 'they' needed to take control of their lives, who once thought meditation was for weak people, who could not fathom how someone would want to end their life.
You are stronger than you think you are, that's the key.
✨ “My job is to protect her from the scary stuff she can’t see. I plan for the future.” — Anxiety, Inside Out 2.
For most of us, anxiety is the brain's way of conducting a risk management process to keep us safe. Our brain is looking ahead at what could go wrong so that we are prepared with contingencies. And that is a good thing, you need this.
The problem is that our brain tends to exaggerate the risks, it multiplies the risk and makes everything seem overwhelming.
If you have something on your mind, remember that talking is the best option to resolve problems we haven't been able to solve ourselves.
Talking with others extends the knowledge and experience needed to find the appropriate resolution strategy. Talking also helps to bring a new perspective to our issue.
✨ "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." - Rafiki, The Lion King
Looking back can be helpful - to good times, to make amends, to learn, or to see how far we have come - but never look back to regret what occurred. "It is what it is because it was what it was."
✨ "Let it go." - Elsa, Frozen
There is little that you can do to change the past other than to fix what you can as much as possible and apologise to those you have hurt if you can't undo what is done.
There is not one person who has never made a mistake. Deal with your past demons as much as possible, without adding to the damage already caused (i.e. by hurting others), and move forward.
✨ "When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming." - Dory, Finding Nemo
Picking yourself up after a fall is not easy, in fact, some never can without continued support from something or someone. Finding a way back up is different for us all, the common ground is that you must keep going. Keep reading, keep trying, and work hard to find the techniques that will work for you.
Just keep swimming.
Let's talk!
You Are Not Mental!
"You're a mental!" A sentence said in jest by me growing up as a child of the Baby Boomer generation. As children, we seldom know what we are saying.
As adults, we know better. The words you use in jest can bully, humiliate, hurt, and ultimately destroy another person.
I'm a mental, a person who has had a mental illness.
Those words 'mental illness' conjure up all sorts of things. Words matter
I am a person who has had a brain sickness.
Brain sickness comes in many forms, from totally debilitating to those controlled with medication, to those who have recovered. Note I did not say fully recovered. Just like when you break a bone there is always a weak point where the bone has repaired itself. The same happens with your brain, there is always a weakness that you have to be careful with.
I used to think that all you needed to do to get over depression was to harden up and get on with things. That is not so, these days!
If you have had a serious broken bone, you may be left with continual pain that has to be managed by medication. It is okay to take medication for the pain of a bone injury, to go to the doctor to get help with healing - and therefore it is no different to take medication to manage the pain inside your head, or to seek help from a professional.
I am lucky, I do not have to take medication. But I do have to ensure I get enough sleep, exercise, and socialisation so that I do not get sick again.
When I had a mental illness, a brain sickness, I had a mild case of depression. (I convince myself it was mild, as it only lasted for a year, and I didn’t need prescription medication to recover).
Note that I didn't say that I 'suffered' from it, I 'had' it. Suffering is another negative word that we attach to the term mental illness. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone, not even for our worst enemies. However, what I learned about life on my journey I could not have learned any other way. And for that, I am very grateful. More grateful still to those who stuck by me.
There are many great people I know who have been to see the black dog and returned to be much wiser. Not stronger, wiser.
Some of those people love to share their gift with others so that other people don't have to go through the same thing. Listen to these people, and you will learn a lot.
Dealing With Life!
Crisis negotiating is much like starting and running a business, and probably just like life itself;
🎙️ None of us truly know what is ahead of us - We can plan, we can strategise, we can think about exit points, but unexpected things always come along and throw us off course. Understanding that most things never go exactly as planned provides us with comfort. It happens to us all, not just me.
🎙️ The single best thing we can do in life is to connect with others - There are three ways to get things out of our heads when we have difficulty resolving our challenges - talk, write, and read - with talking being the best option.
🎙️ You are not alone - We often think that no one else has the same problem as us, that others won't understand what we are going through, that we are unique. You are indeed unique, but there is not one person on this planet who has not faced what seemed to them like a mountainous problem which they got through, and so can you too.
🎙️ We are restricted by ourselves - Our brain is designed to keep us safe, to keep us within our neural pathways, to make us run in known patterns. Stepping outside our comfort zone is how we get over life's challenges, running to the fire with the necessary tools to put out the flames. Each of us possesses strengths that we do not know that we possess until we truly need them.
🎙️ Our mind is not set - It takes effort to make changes in our life but not as much effort as you think it might. All it takes is to change our mindset because our mind is not actually set.
🎙️ Now, is the right time to take action - Don't wait until a crisis negotiator answers your call for help, reach out now. Take on that challenge as soon as it arrives by talking, reading, and then writing.
Talk: Speak with others, not the ones who say "Stop worrying", "It's nothing to worry about", or "Worry is simply a wasted energy." Find someone else, someone who will sit, listen, and support.
Read: Go to reputable sites and read about how others overcame their challenges.
Write: Make a plan in writing with a pen on paper. It starts today, not tomorrow, for tomorrow is in the future and you are only ever in the present.
Let's talk!
Let The Joy Consume You!
Life goes so fast these days, and we quickly move on from moments that we should spend time reflecting on. Today was a moment in time I will hold on to for a few days.
In a small Cafe in Orewa I met with my publisher who provided me with an advance copy of my next book - Anxiety is a Worry. He grinned from ear to ear, this was also his moment as he had been supporting and very patient in my delayed completion of what has been a four-year journey.
Based on empirical evidence from global research, Anxiety is a Worry is a comprehensive guide for managing anxiety. Filled with practical techniques, this book takes a comprehensive guide to detail what anxiety is, the numerous causes, and how to navigate through a range of options.
For those who may want to know, the book is due for release in the last week of August. The main printing takes some time, 352 pages is a solid print.
Never let moments of achievement pass you by no matter how small. Relish the elation, be completely in the moment, and let the joy fill you ❤️.
Believe In Yourself!
How many times have you said, "Why does this always happen to me?!"
As my dear departed Mum used to say, "It's not all about you son". She was right.
Often things just happen for no particular reason. It is these adversities that make us who we are, not the adversity itself. In some ways, our response to these events is more important.
There is a saying that goes something like this, 'It's not how we fall, it's how we get back up again'. I prefer to say "It's not that we fell, it's that we got back up".
We can believe ourselves, or believe IN ourselves.
As we go through life and negative events happen, our brain places a marker in our memory as a point of reference for the future, mainly so we can avoid similar situations in the future. The problem, the marker doesn't clarify the cause or how we got through the event, it simply records the part of the event where our emotion was at its highest.
Generally, we repeat our behaviours because our brain prefers to stick to patterns of behaviour, known as habits which are based on neural pathways. These pathways are there to keep us safe.
Our brain is a dumb tool designed for simpler times and although our world has developed, our brain hasn't kept pace. Sure, the brain has developed from the basic stem to one now that is more complex, yet, the fundamentals remain since the earliest of times - fight, flight, or freeze.
We learn by doing and, until we have experienced something several times, we might not get things right on the first or second, or even third occasion.
Do we learn from our past, yes, but only if we go back and examine what took place to change it.
A simple technique is to start by looking for similarities:
👉 Write a list of the occasions where the same event has happened.
👉 Next, write down beside each event what was similar about each one and see if you can identify a common theme or single causal factor about them, apart from the fact that you are involved.
Was it a choice that you made, or were you drawn to the similarity for a reason, was your judgement clouded by emotional attraction, is there one common action that you can now learn from and change? This is how we learn; looking back, opening it up, and examining the events.
👉 To complete the process, and this is a very necessary part, look for the differences in each event. These are often more difficult to find because we are all consumed with the commonalities, the 'why me' factor.
It is in the differences with each event that we realise it was not necessarily us that was the cause, it was the situation, the emotion, or it just 'was'.
It is better to do this technique with someone else, to provide perspective. Coming together with others makes us feel safer knowing that we are all very similar, knowing others have faced similar events, and knowing we are not alone.
It is what it is because it was what it was, it's what you do now that matters - I have this tattooed on my chest as a reminder.
Let's talk!