It was recently suggested that I had forgotten what it was like to be a police officer. It was not the time to defend myself, the comment came from someone hurting.
It got me thinking though, have I forgotten?
When I question a tactic used by police it is not an attack on them, it is to offer a different perspective.
Here is what it was like for me as a police officer:
1. I joined the police for job security – I was in construction at the time which is affected by many uncontrollable external factors.
2. I was older and had no qualifications – I had to work harder than most to make the 80% minimum benchmark in the physical and academic entry assessments.
3. Police College was lonely – being away from family was heartbreaking, leaving a wonderful wife & 3 beautiful children for 5 months.
4. Probationary period - for the next two years I was scrutinised by my colleagues, by my supervisor and by the organisation.
5. You see the worst – continuously sent to incidents that were confronting, horrific, emotional and relentless.
6. The extremes of people – I saw the best and worst of people, mostly the worst.
7. My entire life changed – sleep habits, eating habits, family routines, the ability to relax, everything changed. The ‘job’ became everything and I lost perspective.
8. Family connections and commitments were lost – Birthdays, get-togethers, weddings, funerals and special occasions. So many were missed due to work.
9. Irreproachable conduct, 24/7 – police officers face relentless scrutiny in their work and personal lives.
10. Split-second judgements – Decisions must be made in the blink of an eye, which are then judged by others without that same pressure.
11. Policing is bloody hard – Like so many colleagues, I suffered the effects of burnout and depression for several years while continuing to work.
12. I became cynical – Trust no one, trust nothing, only trust in yourself.
13. Retirement was scary - I felt lost, and fearful of the future. Job security no longer a comfort, the uniform not there as a shield.
14. I had changed - policing changed me, that my behaviour affected others, I had become aware that life is so fragile.
15. My biggest regret - I should have spent more time with family and friends. It’s just a job and it will continue without me there!
I am so proud to have been a police officer. I joined for personal reasons and left for personal reasons, yet my time in the police was spent trying to make a difference for others.
I will never forget this wonderful opportunity I had, the police made me who I am today. I hope that it is a better person than I once was.
For those who are considering joining the police, go for it. You will learn so much about yourself and about others.
You can leave the police but the police never leaves you.
A final thought - Hug your loved ones often, live life to the fullest, always do your best, never give up on your dreams and never take life for granted.
Let’s talk!
One Small Act Can Have A Massive Impact.
Mind (Mental) Health Statistics NZ – The wellbeing of our family and friends is important to everyone.
Working in mental health for over 30 years, I have tended to focus only on the negative and ignore the positive, because that is where I can help.
There is a lot of good news to be proud of, the Ministry of Health data from a 2023/24 survey revealed that:
• 85% of adults reported they were in good health which is similar to the previous five years.
• A similar number report high or very high family wellbeing and a high or very high level of life satisfaction.
• Nearly all children (96.5%) are reported as being in good health.
The stats on addiction and psychological distress have unfortunately changed for the worse:
• One in six adults has a hazardous drinking pattern - a score of eight or more on the alcohol use disorders identification test.
• 13% of adults experienced high or very high psychological distress.
• High or very high levels of psychological distress has nearly doubled over the last five years - from 8.3 to 13%.
Although the majority of us are doing well, around 1 in 5 adults aren't functioning as well as they could be, and that has a flow on effect in their work and family lives.
We can all do our bit to help those struggling. Often, all it takes is for one person to reach out a helping hand with support which may not seem like much, except to the person struggling.
If you know or see someone who is living alone, who is struggling with a physical or mental challenge, or may be down on their luck, here are five simple steps to help that person:
• Listen - sit with the person and ask them about them. Acknowledge their situation by validating that life can be tough.
• Learn - find out one thing they need that would help them in that moment. Don't guess what they need, ask them what they need.
• Deliver - provide them with that one small thing.
• Reconnect - in a day or two reconnect with that person and see what has changed or what it meant to them.
• Help – if you have additional time, find a way to help people help themselves. Who can you connect the person with who could offer the service or support they need to get them started?
We are a community species that likes to help others. If each one of us did something small each day to help those in need to help themselves, we can improve the distress of those who are struggling.
Yes, there will be some who we cannot help, but that should not stop us from trying. The ripple effect of doing that one thing is exponential, studies show it can impact as many as 100 people.
We've got this, together. Sometimes just a small hand up is all that is needed to set us on the path to recovery.
Let's talk!
10 Years and Counting!
WARN International Limited was incorporated on the 28th of April 2014.
Owning a business is damn hard work, it is a roller-coaster of emotions and it is fraught with risk. Yet, the rewards will overpower the negatives. It is YOUR business, always remind yourself of that!
As we enter our 11th year of business, here are my thoughts on our first 10 years which might be helpful for those considering going into business.
Year 1: What is your point of difference? To stand out from others, particularly when a similar product is already out there, you must offer something different or deliver it differently.
Year 2: Have an escape plan – You will remain nervous in your 2nd year. No matter how much you plan for contingencies there is always a risk. Trust in yourself and be comforted knowing you have a rescue plan.
Year 3: You need more than just a good website - platforms are a must to provide information about your product or service. However, you also need to grab the attention of customers to encourage them to go to your website.
Year 4: You have to do your time – no one is an expert in year 4. Business is like an ongoing apprenticeship; time brings experiences which adds to your expertise.
Year 5: Things seldom go as planned - have a direction but be flexible. If your plan is rigid, you may miss an opportunity. Say ‘yes’ to most opportunities as these will often lead to other opportunities.
Year 6: Personal development is a must - find a business mentor, undertake coaching, and/or become a member of a Business Network to learn and be enthused by others.
Year 7: Never drop the ball - do not become complacent. Just because 50% of businesses make it to Year 5 doesn't mean your business will continue, for you are only as good as your last product or service.
Year 8: Momentum is not enough - never sit still, never rest on your achievements, always push yourself to do more, to do better next time, to do that one last thing when others have finished for the day. There is no such thing as ‘normal’ business hours.
Year 9: Bring back the excitement - congratulations on getting to year 9, you are past the average lifespan of a business. Look back to see how far you've come and recall the excitement you had when you first started, rekindle that excitement.
Year 10: Pay it forward or give back – reward others with your success. Give back to the community and those who need help, pay it forward by helping others who are starting in business.
Year 11: Never ever give up – 65% of businesses fail by year 10. You have made it this far which proves you can do this. Now it is time to reinvent, to reinvigorate, to recapture, whatever it takes to evolve and continue in business.
If you are considering starting a business in 2025, may I wish you every success. Do get in touch, I would love to hear what you are doing and how things are going in YOUR business.
Let’s talk!
Are You Grounded?
Our brains are facing new challenges and stimuli which can make life seem busier than in previous times. Here are the main reasons:
Information Overload: We have instant access to an overwhelming amount of information. We're constantly bombarded with news, updates, and notifications which can lead to mental fatigue.
Pace of Life: Modern life often demands multitasking and quick decision-making. Balancing work, personal life, and social interactions can create a sense of constant busyness.
Technological Advancements: Devices like smartphones, tablets, and computers keep us connected 24/7, making it harder to find moments of true rest and relaxation.
Urbanisation: Living in fast-paced urban environments can contribute to sensory overload. The noise, lights, and crowds in cities can be mentally draining.
Work and Lifestyle Changes: Remote work and flexible schedules have blurred the boundaries between work and personal life. This can make it difficult to switch off and unwind.
However, it is important to note that while the nature of our mental workload has changed, the human brain is remarkably adaptable.
Techniques like mindfulness, grounding exercises, and setting boundaries can help manage this increased mental activity.
Grounding techniques and mindfulness share similarities, but they are not the same. Both practices aim to bring your awareness to the present moment, but they have different applications.
Grounding Techniques:
Grounding is specifically designed to help manage feelings of anxiety, stress, or emotional overwhelm.
It often involves engaging our five senses to anchor us in the present and distract from distressing thoughts or emotions.
Grounding can be particularly helpful in moments of acute distress, like during a panic attack or flashback.
Mindfulness:
Mindfulness is a broader practice that involves being fully present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment.
It often involves meditation, breathing exercises, and paying attention to the present moment.
Mindfulness can be used both as a preventative measure to reduce overall stress and to improve general well-being.
There are several types of grounding techniques:
Physical Grounding: Engaging your five senses to help you feel more present. For example, holding an ice cube, touching different textures, or taking a short walk while focusing on your steps.
Mental Grounding: Using your mind to distract from anxiety or stress. This can include mindfulness, meditation, or reciting familiar facts or affirmations.
Soothing Grounding: Techniques that help calm your mind and body, such as deep breathing, savouring a favourite scent, or visualising a "happy place".
Here are a few grounding techniques that you might find helpful:
5-4-3-2-1 Technique:
Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can touch.
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell.
Name 1 thing you can taste.
Deep Slow Breathing (Using a timer):
Breathe in slowly for 6 seconds.
Exhale slowly for 6 seconds.
Repeat this process several times for as long as you need to.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
Start by tensing and then relaxing your toes.
Gradually move up through your legs, abdomen, chest, arms, and finally your head.
Focus on the sensation of releasing the tension in each muscle group.
Mindful Walking:
Take a walk and focus on each step you take.
Notice how your feet feel as they contact the ground.
Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells around you.
Hold an Object:
Find an object, like a stone or a piece of fabric.
Focus on the texture, weight, temperature, and colour.
Describe the object in as much detail as possible.
Visualisation:
Close your eyes and imagine a peaceful place.
Picture every detail of this place, including sights, sounds, and smells.
Imagine yourself there, feeling calm and safe.
Each of us is unique so you might find some techniques more effective than others.
Fatigue can lead to burnout, stopping twice a day to do a simple grounding technique can control our ‘busyness’ and lessen the risk of fatigue.
Let’s talk!
Tears - We Don't Cry Enough!
The moment after we are born, we cry.
As a baby we cry when we need something – food, warmth, comfort or attention.
As an infant some of us are told not cry but we still want to. If we do cry, we might be told it is wrong or to stop crying.
So, we learn to cry on the inside or when alone where no one can see us cry.
As adults we tend only to cry when truly sad things occur, isn't that sad in itself.
Many people cry on their deathbed as they express their love, their regrets, that their life has come to an end.
If we see a grown person cry, we might leave them alone so as not to embarrass them.
Recently, I have noticed that I cry often!
I'm a grown man who worked in construction and was a cop, I should never cry.
I have seen and had to do things that others haven’t, I shouldn't cry.
I have had depression and been suicidal, I shouldn't cry.
Yet, I did cry. And now I cry often and I love it.
Mostly, I cry when happy, from contentment.
Crying is an essential emotional release and a mechanism for self-care. While it can be associated with sadness, it's also a vital aspect of emotional expression and wellbeing.
Here are a few reasons why we should cry more:
1. Emotional Balance: Crying helps us process and release overwhelming emotions preventing them from being bottled up and causing more significant distress later.
2. Healing: When we cry over a painful experience it can aid in the healing process by allowing us to confront and work through our feelings.
3. Connection: Crying can bring people closer together. When we cry in front of others it can foster empathy and strengthen our relationships with those who support us.
4. Relief: Sometimes a good cry can leave us feeling lighter, more at ease, and better able to tackle challenges.
5. Self-care: Allowing ourselves to cry is a form of self-compassion. It is acknowledging our emotions and giving ourselves permission to feel them.
When someone is crying due to happiness ask them what it was that made them so happy.
When someone is crying and you do not know the reason, ask them the reason behind their tears rather than ask if everything is alright.
When someone is crying due to sadness, and if appropriate to do so, hug them and hold them tight. The more they cry the stronger your hug.
We must never be ashamed to cry, we should be proud to cry.
If we cry when we are born and if we cry when we die then perhaps, we should cry more often when we live.
Let's talk!