Should I Retire?

I often wonder why I keep going, when many people of my age have long since retired.

Am I doing someone out of a job?

What about the younger generation coming through who need a chance?

Why don't I just let someone else have go?

Perhaps more personal...

Am I too old?

Am I too tired?

Am I too slow?

Am I too...?

It would be easy to step back given the many challenges that running a business entails. So many reasons to stop - what if I don't meet the clients’ needs, what if I say the wrong thing, what if what I say is misinterpreted, what if people don't find what I say helpful, what if…

Why should I push myself into uncomfortable situations, is it causing harm by being nervous on a daily basis, is it not better to slip back into a comfortable role or to retire completely?

We can always find reasons to stop what we are doing, but that is the easy option. However, it is the very reasons that we find excuses to stop that actually keep us going.

If we do not stretch our self, certain parts of our brain shrink, the important areas that maintain our cognitive skills.

A study found that when people retired at the age of 66 instead of 65, their mortality rates dropped by 11%. Even when accounting for all of the variables possible, many other studies confirm the same.

Working into our later years has many benefits:

- It provides mental stimulation and problem-solving abilities

- Social engagement is associated with delaying chronic disease

- Physical activity leads to better health and sharper thinking

- Multi-generational teams are better than single-generation teams

So, let's look at my list of reasons to give up.

Am I doing someone out of a job? No.

Should the younger generation have an opportunity to do what I do?Absolutely, and there's nothing stopping them.

I can find new clients through numerous methods with word-of-mouth being the biggest opportunity, I am completing yet another diploma after recently published a third book, and I am highly motivated by the challenge that running a business provides.

Am I too old? That depends on the context, age brings more experiences.

Am I too tired? Sometimes, but that's only because I push myself to the maximum.

Am I too slow? Those who know me know the opposite is true.

Pushing ourselves outside of our perceived limit is where we get the best from ourselves. There is no growth in the comfortable, only stagnancy.

It is so easy to find an excuse not to stretch ourselves beyond our perceived limits. It is so easy to dismiss those things we find hard. It is so easy to put things off until tomorrow for we know that tomorrow never comes!

Find comfort in the uncomfortable, find joy in the nervousness, find solace in the fear. For it is these challenges that keep us going, that make us who we are, that bring out the best in us.

The only way to find that control is within us. We are all better and stronger than we think we are, we just don't know how much until we try.

Let's talk!

Say NO!

Thanks, but I'll have to pass on that.
I'm going to need to say no, but thanks!
I can't make it work this time, sorry.
Not today.
No.
I'm not up for that right now, but I appreciate the invite.
I'm going to have to sit this one out, but thanks for thinking of me
No, thank you.
I'd love to, but I'm swamped right now.
I've got a lot on my plate, so I'll have to decline.
Thanks for the offer, but I'm going to have to pass.

Often we don't want to disappoint, so we tend to say "yes' when asked to do something. Unfortunately, this desire to help, or rather not to disappoint, might be detrimental to our well-being - especially at a time of year when many of our plates (and calendars) are full.

Saying "yes" may be important to you, so keep doing so if you can continue without it impacting on you. Remember that you need downtime to do things to relax. Saying "no" can be difficult, especially if you have got into the habit of saying "yes".

Know that saying "no" can also be exhilarating, and your brain will eventually thank you for it.

Let's talk!

Angry Customers!

When someone is yelling at you, it's only natural to feel overwhelmed. Whether you’re facing an angry client or a heated colleague, here are some quick actionable tips you can start using today:

🧍 Always stand tall with your head up, shoulders back, and hands by your side. This shows that you are ready to listen.

🤫 While a person is yelling at you, say nothing. Try to avoid using minimal encouragers (umms and ahhs) - large slow nods are enough to indicate that you are listening.

🪑 If you can, invite the person to sit down. This will reduce their anger as they won't have a strong foundation on which to rage.

👂 Listen to what they are saying. When they have finished their 'vent', paraphrase what they said related to the facts of what they are yelling about.

👀 Reduce your eye contact to half of what you would usually do, 30% instead of 60%.

🖊️ If you can, hold something in your hand such as a notebook or pen, it will help you feel more relaxed yet confident (try it now!).

Let's talk!

Practice For The Unexpected.

When asked to present to the Professional Speakers Association of New Zealand I initially thought it was a bad idea. I'm not trained, I don't follow a script, and I know I talk too fast.

Always up for a challenge though, what was the worst that could happen?

The theme of my talk was how to manage emotions when nervous, and how to drive new business if you are a speaker. Apart from covering how to remain calm in challenging situations, and how to deal with our new world and all of its challenges, I also spoke of how to manage worry.

When it came to professional speaking, here are the key messages I left the audience with:
ℹ️ You can either stun the audience by knowing a lot about one thing, or knowing a little about a lot - you must choose your expertise.
🤝 When negotiating with a client, avoid setting a rigid bottom line—it could cause you to miss valuable opportunities. For example, we started working with one organisation at their agreed fee - and they are now our most valuable client.
⚠️ Never go in too hard with anything - whether it is your fee, your presentation style, or simply wanting to impress.
👀 Never be too relaxed - often we think we've done a great job, and then we relax and say something stupid. Many of us of done this I am sure!
💥 What is your WOW factor - is it your point of difference, is it your expertise or experience? What is one thing they can use immediately, or what will make them want to see you again?
☝️ Contrary to popular belief it is not about the speaker, it is about the audience. Forget the flash introduction about yourself, they are not there to see you - they are there to listen to what you have to say!
🥸 Be yourself - if we practise too much or follow a recognised pattern that most speakers use it could become a robotic presentation.
🎭 Real people want to see real people, you need to be relatable - your message could get lost if you sound too polished. Being professional and having confidence is one thing, putting on a staged show (acting) is quite another.

The techniques above can also be applied in everyday life. Whether you're running a business, managing a team, or simply someone who wants to improve themselves; these strategies can be a helpful guide.

Life is full of challenges—some we anticipate, others take us by surprise. By practising how to handle the challenges we expect, we build the skills needed to tackle the ones we don’t see coming. Strengthening these abilities can make a significant difference when life throws the unexpected our way.

I am still receiving wonderful feedback from the presentation for the PSANZ.

If I can do it, so can you.

Let’s talk!

I Am Sick Of Being Happy!

I have had enough of being happy, I want to make myself sad for a change. Here's what I'm going to do:

🍺 Drink more alcohol - I know that this technique could initially make me happy, but I also know that alcohol is a depressant so if I drink too much I will be sad tomorrow. Work through the happy to become unhappy. Perfect.

🍭 Eat more sugar - Just like alcohol, I am going to feel good while I am eating lots of it, the bonus is that I will feel terrible when I crash.

🗣️ Hang around with negative people - The people who talk about others behind their back, who spread rumours, and those who haven't a good thing to say about anyone or anything.

😊 Avoid happy things and happy people - I don't want to fill my brain with happy things so it's best I avoid anyone happy. Who needs a balanced life anyway?

🌃 Stay up late - Sleep, it's overrated. Eight hours, rubbish. I will stay up late because that will make me less attentive and grumpy tomorrow. Excellent.

🌞 Avoid sunlight - Apparently, sunlight has a vitamin that makes me happy. Nope, absolutely not. Don’t even start on how sunlight helps us produce melatonin needed to get a good night’s sleep.

🏃‍♀️ Don’t exercise – I know how exercise always makes me feel happy, even a 30-minute walk makes me feel better. Avoid exercise at all costs will be my new mantra!

This negative stuff is easy, I will become unhappy in no time. Or I could do the opposite of what I have listed, and maybe keep myself happy forever?

Let's talk!