Each of us has a bias, a leaning towards one direction over another. In recent times there has been an awakening in the world as we are seemingly confronted with differing perspectives to our own. This is an important advancement in society for us as a species to continue to thrive.
Some though, are resisting this awakening, using the term 'woke' in a derogatory way.
For me, the marae epitomises one way forward in our dynamic world if we are to improve as a society. Respecting each other's differences while working towards a common goal of progression and survival.
We can indeed learn a lot from each other if we can overcome our learned bias. A bias inhibits our ability to see a situation from another's perspective and reduces the possibility of us developing. Our biases hold us back from learning, understanding and progressing. Dare I say it, we remain ignorant, lacking awareness.
So how are biases formed? Most biases are implicit, unconscious, and are formed in our formative years when our brain easily influenced by the environment in which we grow up.
Our brain prefers to run with a bias by grouping things together. We seek patterns to stay within our (safe) comfort zone, and we are conditioned by those around us to 'fit in' and feel connected. Overcoming our bias is difficult because we first have to be aware that we have one.
It is said that if we have an open mind then we will have a greater ability to overcome our learned bias. I prefer to take the longer route and question everything, including myself. Do so from as many sources as possible.
Is there any better way to do this than by following the rules of whaikōrero (speeches) on a marae? Each speaker takes turns without interruption. Opposing views come together to listen, challenge and question each other, respectfully.
The next time that you feel strongly about something with an opposing view, take the time to question why that might be. Is it your upbringing, is it your known and safe pattern, or is it your ease of association that has caused you to think this way?
You might be right, but then again you may not be. We each learn from the other, we are never an expert, for things change. We must continue to learn if we are to progress and survive.
Let's korero!
Change Just One Stressor.
I read somewhere that we spend upwards of 11 hours each day at work if you work an 8-hour day.
👉 You think about work when you first get up in the morning, when getting ready to go to work, travelling to work, while at work, on the drive home from work, when you check your phone/messages at home and also several times in the evening as you go back over the workday - the list goes on.
With us sleeping an average of seven hours each night, that doesn't leave much time for ‘you’. So, it is important (imperative) that you start to take some control of the stressors of work. Relying on others to change things isn’t an option in most cases.
💡 The leading causes of workplace stress are; insufficient breaks, illness, difficult people, a lack of control and, the environment.
Here's what you can do to start changing things for the better;
➡️ Breaks - You should take a break of 10 minutes (or more) every hour. It is important to get up out of your chair and move around to get the blood flowing and to refresh your brain. Importantly, have a break away from computers and mobile devices during this break time – a screen break.
➡️ Illness - If you are sick, stay at home. Your colleagues don't want your germs and going to work when sick will only extend your illness. Plus, you will not be at your best therefore tasks will be more difficult for you than usual.
➡️ Difficult People - Most workplaces have at least one person who is either grumpy, annoying, loud, arrogant, overbearing or just downright rude. Apart from bringing the shortcoming to their attention, which may be an option if done correctly, don't let their actions impact you. Ignore them, or better still, become their friend. Find out more about that person who annoys you and you may well realise why they are the way they are, helping you change your opinion of them.
➡️ Lack of Control - "You can only control what you can control". Suggest how to change things in your workplace; offer to assist in some way to make things better, or even change the way that you do things as long as it is within policy.
➡️Environment - We all need natural light. If you work in a place where there is no natural light, then you need to get outside during your scheduled breaks to get sunlight. We need at least 20 minutes of sunlight each day to produce melatonin and serotonin, the stuff that aids sleep.
Changing just one of these five workplace stressors could just change your life!
Do You Have Intrusive Thoughts?
Be honest with yourself - have you ever had an extreme thought pop into your head and wondered where it came from or why you had that thought?
Have you ever stood on the edge of a tall building, bridge, or cliff and thought - I wonder what it would be like to step off, or, perhaps you feel drawn to just falling? When this happens, you jump back with fright and can't trust yourself to go near the edge again.
Perhaps your thought might be more extreme - I wonder what it would be like to watch someone die?
Just a fleeting thought that comes and goes in an instant so you try to bury (excuse the pun) that thought deeply for fear you might be going crazy. There are other similar thoughts about; religion and wanting to shout out something inappropriate during a church service, opening the door of an aircraft, harming people close to you, hurting animals, and even about your own death.
These are termed 'intrusive thoughts', and they are normal, truly they are. You are not going crazy.
The majority of us have had or will have these thoughts at some point in our lives. Just here in our office after discussing this topic, we discover that two out of three of us have had them.
Where do these thoughts come from? For some, it might be genetics, biological, environmental, or a combination of these and many other things. Like everything with the brain, there is no single nor clear answer for each of us.
The best I can come up with, and this is just my opinion, the intrusive thought is a survival mechanism designed to remind us of what is right and what is wrong. Intrusive thoughts can remind us that we are in control of our thoughts, otherwise, we would have acted on them.
So, what should you do about it if you have an intrusive thought?
Acknowledge and recognise it for what it is - and then let go of it and know that you are "normal", whatever that means.
However, if the unwanted thoughts are starting to disrupt your daily life, particularly if they’re impairing your ability to work or to do things you enjoy - perhaps it is time to seek out professional support.
Let's talk!
How Do You Relax?
I once was an advocate of slowing down, smelling the roses and savouring the journey as we travel. The fact is, I get bored very easily. I last about an hour if I have nothing to do, I get fidgety when on holiday just sitting by the beach, I like being near the shops ...you get the picture.
Each of us is very different. I relax by staying on the go. Others relax by reading a book, others by adventure sports, the list goes on. I now say - do what it is that makes you feel the most relaxed. 'Do one thing a day that makes you smile' is my new mantra.
Research is great, I base all my work on contemporary research. But at the end of the day, research is 'for the majority', not the totality. Research tells us that we should take time out to rest, relax, and recuperate. And we should, but it's how we do this that is different for each of us.
Adhering strictly to what others say that you should do may have the reverse effect, it may make you worry that you aren't doing what you should be doing because others said that you should. I knew someone who was told he should exercise more so he took up running. He hated running but drove himself to do it because he was told it would be good for him. It's just like giving up an unhealthy habit, we know it is bad and that we should stop, but this worry simply adds another layer to the unhealthy habit.
Do what you believe is right for you, if it feels right then it is. You are unique. After all, looking at the roses as you walk by can be just as beneficial as stopping to smell them for some of us.
Let's talk!
Is Your Battery Low?
There are times when we get so engrossed in life, that we forget about taking time out to recharge the batteries.
After years of trial and error, I have worked out that when the corners of my eyes start to burn, that is my low-battery notification. Others I have talked with have a similar warning sign - a knot in the stomach, sore or tight shoulders, a heavy chest perhaps, or some other physiological sign.
Prioritise 30 minutes of 'you time' each day to recharge before your low battery sign turns up. Spend just 30 minutes doing what you want to; something that makes you happy, something you get lost in.