Struggling with the afternoon slump? Here are three quick-fix suggestions on refuelling your brain when you get tired, lethargic or fatigued;
Move it - moving around will produce endorphins, increase oxygen flow, bring ideas, burn off cortisol, and much more. A 15-minute fast-paced walk at lunchtime will get you through the afternoon.
Hydrate - 80% of your brain consists of water, you need water for your brain to function properly. Pure water, not coffee, tea, sodas, or any other fluid that might contain diuretics which will dehydrate you even further.
Get your protein in - prevent the afternoon crash by having a source of protein with every main meal.
Look forward to it - Looking forward to good things coming up in the future will generate similar chemicals to those produced when you smile. Think about something you can look forward to forward to at the end of the day or at the weekend.
You Are Not Mental!
"You're a mental!" A sentence said in jest by me growing up as a child of the Baby Boomer generation. As children, we seldom know what we are saying.
As adults, we know better. The words you use in jest can bully, humiliate, hurt, and ultimately destroy another person.
I'm a mental, a person who has had a mental illness.
Those words 'mental illness' conjure up all sorts of things. Words matter
I am a person who has had a brain sickness.
Brain sickness comes in many forms, from totally debilitating to those controlled with medication, to those who have recovered. Note I did not say fully recovered. Just like when you break a bone there is always a weak point where the bone has repaired itself. The same happens with your brain, there is always a weakness that you have to be careful with.
I used to think that all you needed to do to get over depression was to harden up, and get on with things. That is not so, these days!
If you have had a serious broken bone you may be left with continual pain that has to be managed by medication. It is okay to take medication for the pain of a bone injury, to go to the doctor to get help with healing - and therefore it is no different to take medication to manage the pain inside your head, or to seek help from a professional.
I am lucky, I do not have to take medication. But I do have to ensure I get enough sleep, exercise, and socialisation so that I do not get sick again.
When I had a mental illness, a brain sickness, I had a mild case of depression. (I convince myself it was mild, as it only lasted for a year and I didn’t need prescription medication to recover).
Note that I didn't say that I 'suffered' from it, I was 'had' it. Suffering is another negative word that we attach to the term mental illness. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone, not even for our worst enemies. However, what I learned about life on my journey I could not have learned any other way. And for that, I am very grateful. More grateful still to those who stuck by me.
There are many great people I know who have been to see the black dog and returned to be much wiser. Not stronger, wiser.
Some of those people love to share their gift with others so that other people don't have to go through the same thing. Listen to these people, and you will learn a lot.
Is Now A Good Time?
Holding difficult conversations can be a challenge.
As managers, we are duty-bound to look after our staff. As people, it is inherent in us to want to be there to help others. No manager wants to be left wondering whether they should have said something to a team member should the worst happen and that person ends their life, knowing that you might have been able to intervene.
As managers who need to meet with staff, some of the challenges we struggle with are; do you send them an invitation explaining the purpose of the meeting, do you surprise them, do you get straight to the point or ask them how things are going as a way of opening the challenging conversation?
The easy answer is to say, it depends. I have read many posts that say just that; it depends. That's not very helpful. As a crisis negotiator who has spent over 20 years training and coaching around the world developing communication programmes for various situations, here is a suggestion;
Don't alert the person too early as to what it is that you want to talk with them about, other than to say you are concerned for them and would like to have an informal chat to see how you can help.
Where you meet them is just as important as what you say in the meeting, they will never forget that place and may feel uncomfortable each time they return there. Hold the meeting in a neutral venue where it is unlikely they will return - a breakout room where others can't see into or a Cafe are the best choices.
Opening the conversation can be difficult. My suggestion is to go straight to the point as soon as possible after a general conversation. It is done in three parts - what have you noticed, what is your concern, and what is your question of the person.
"I have noticed lately that you are not your usual self (describe what behaviour has changed), and I/we am/are concerned about you and that you may not be coping, is there something going on that I/we can help you with?"
Once the person opens up, follow their lead by asking a question about what they have just said. For example, they might say, "There's just so much going on at the moment," so you follow with either "What are all of the things going on at the moment" or "Tell me about all of those things". By following their lead, you will quickly get to the underlying issue.
Once you have found the problem, don't try and fix it straight away. Ask them, "So how does all of this impact you" or "How are you feeling with all that is going on". Emotions are what drives us and from which most of our actions emanate.
Next, acknowledge that emotion. "These things are hard", "These things can be tough", or "You do have a lot going on at the moment". An emotion that is acknowledged is disarmed and will open the door to the truth.
"Is now a good time?" You bet it is, now is always a good time to talk.
Let's talk!
It's Time To Change Our Thinking.
Barbie fan or not, we can all take something away from the recent film
"It kills me that you don't think you're good enough."
You are good enough, that's why you are where you are today. If you heard a friend say they thought they weren't good enough, what advice would you give them? Could you give that same advice to yourself? Don't hold back and hesitate, prove to the world that you are as good as others say that you are.
"I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman (person) tie herself (themself) into knots so that people will like us."
We spend far too much time trying to change ourselves, trying to follow a strict regime, trying to get the work/life balance right, and trying to conform to what others suggest of us. Each of us is very different, and that is what makes the world an interesting place. Remember, there is no such thing as the ultimate person.
"That's life. It's all change.
Change comes in many forms - health, work, family, friendships, technology, and business. None of us truly know what is ahead of us. Unexpected things always come along and throw us off course, and being aware of that can bring us certainty.
"Humans only have one ending, ideas live forever"
Our time here is finite, but our ideas can have a lasting impact. Each of us has something special to offer the world, we just have to find what it is and how to use it.
My question for you is "What are you waiting for?" Now is the time to start. Not this year, not this month, not this week, today. Sit down right now and work out what you want, and how you are going to get there and then take action, today.
What Is It Like To Be A Crisis Negotiator?
I am regularly asked, what was it really like as a crisis negotiator?
I am always honest in my reply; it is much easier than it seems when looking from the outside, but the stakes are the highest possible.
It got me thinking, crisis negotiating is much like starting and running a business, and probably just like life itself;
None of us truly know what is ahead of us - We can plan, we can strategise, we can think about exit points, but unexpected things always come along and throw us off course. Understanding that most things never go exactly as planned provides us with comfort. It happens to us all, not just me.
The single best thing we can do in life is to connect with others - There are three ways to get things out of our head when we have difficulty resolving our challenges - talk, write, and read - with talking being the best option.
You are not alone - We often think that no one else has the same problem as us, that others won't understand what we are going through, that we are unique. You are indeed unique, but there is not one person on this planet who has not faced what seemed to them like a mountainous problem which they got through, and so can you too.
We are restricted by ourselves - Our brain is designed to keep us safe, to keep us within our neural pathways, to make us run in known patterns. Stepping outside our comfort zone is how we get over life's challenges, running to the fire with the necessary tools to put out the flames. Each of us possesses strengths that we do not know that we possess until we truly need them.
Our mind is not set - It takes effort to make changes in our life but not as much effort as you think it might. All it takes is to change our mindset because our mind is not actually set.
Now, is the right time to take action - Don't wait until a crisis negotiator answers your call for help, reach out now. Take on that challenge as soon as it arrives by talking, reading, and then writing.
Talk: Speak with others, not the ones who say "Stop worrying", "It's nothing to worry about", or "Worry is simply a wasted energy." Find someone else, someone who will sit, listen, and support.
Read: Go to reputable sites and read about how others overcame their challenges.
Write: Make a plan in writing with a pen on paper. It starts today, not tomorrow, for tomorrow is in the future and you are only ever in the present.
Let's talk!