I Can't Leave My Desk, What Can I Do?

Following my post yesterday on overcoming the leading workplace stressors, I was reminded that not everyone has the ability to get up from their desk every hour, to take time off when they are sick, to manage difficult people, to have some control over what they do or to change their work environment.

What we are talking about here are those who work in call centres, factories, warehouses, shops, and some offices. Here are a few tips for those who have a job where there may be tighter restrictions on what you can and can't do;

Breaks - Legislation dictates that you must get at least three breaks each day, use them to walk about, to stand if you have a job that requires you to sit, to go outside, and to talk with others. If you have a computer based role, look away from your screen as much as possible, stretch often, stand while working, and use any downtime to walk about even if it is simply stepping forward-and-back or side-to-side. If your job requires you to move around a lot, then rest during your breaks. Essentially, when you have a scheduled break, try to do the opposite of what you are required to do in your work.

Illness - No one can (or should) make you work when you are ill. Loyalty to your work colleagues is one thing, spreading your germs is another. On this point, there are simple things that you can do to stay healthy at work - sanitise your desk work area, wash your hands often, drink plenty of water, eat smaller meals more often, and avoid caffeine or sodas. For your mental health, personalise your workspace with one object such as a photo or small item that you can look at from time to time that reminds you of something happy.

Difficult People - If it is a colleague, avoid them wherever possible. If it is your boss, arrange a meeting with them in private and outline your concerns in this order - this is what you are doing, this is how it is viewed/received, this is what I think would be a better way for you. Do it respectfully. If you can't avoid the person who annoys you or you don't want to confront the issue, then it is up to you to change your perception of the situation. Tell yourself that what they are doing or saying is a reflection of them, not you. Don't allow their actions to annoy or frustrate you. Most of all, don't take it personally. 

Lack of Control - You have the ability to control how well you do your job. Firstly, focus on what you do well, this will give you satisfaction and momentum. Then, if you are weak in a particular area or dislike doing something then it is important that you do more of it. I call it 'confronting your fear'. Find someone who is good at what you aren't so good at and get them to help you. Lastly, make polite suggestions on how to strengthen your role – join a committee, become an employee advocate, organise social events, anything that empowers you.

Environment - Keep your workspace tidy, interact with others when possible, have a positive attitude, help others, make suggestions, get away from your workspace whenever possible, and embrace change. If you can't change the physical environment you can certainly change the emotional one. 

Some say “If you don’t like your job you should get another one”, I say “Change the way you do your current job”.

The Five Leading Workplace Stressors

You HATE your job - deadlines are looming with so much to do and not enough time to do it in, you are ill and can't take time off to recuperate, someone in the office is bugging you or your boss is micro-managing your work at every turn, you feel as though you have no control over your work, and the place that you work in is cramped, dirty, or lacks natural light.

How did I do? Did any of these resonate with you?

I read somewhere that we spend upwards of eleven hours each day at work if you actually work an 8-hour day. You think about work when you first get up in the morning, when getting ready to go to work, on the travel into work, while at work, on the drive home from work, when you check your phone/messages at home and also several times in the evening as you go back over the workday.

With us sleeping an average of seven hours each night, that doesn't leave much time for ‘you’. So, it is important (imperative) that you start to take some control of the stressors of work. Relying on others to change things isn’t an option in most cases.

The five leading causes of workplace stress are; insufficient breaks, illness, difficult people, a lack of control and, the environment. Here's what you can do to start changing things for the better;

 Breaks - You should take a break of 10-minutes duration (or more) every hour. It is important to get up out of your chair and move around to get the blood flowing and to refresh your brain. Importantly, you must have a break away from computers and mobile devices during this break time – a screen break.

Illness - If you are sick, stay at home, as simple as that. Your colleagues don't want your germs and going to work when sick will only extend your illness. Plus, you will not be at your best therefore tasks will be more difficult for you than usual.

Difficult People - This is a hard one. Most workplaces have at least one person who is either grumpy, annoying, loud, arrogant, overbearing or just downright rude. Apart from bringing the shortcoming to their attention, which may be an option if done correctly, don't let their actions affect and effect you. Ignore them, or better still, become their friend. Find out more about that person who annoys you and you may well realise why they are the way that they are and this will change your opinion of them. 

Lack of Control - I have heard it said that "You can only control what you can control". Why not make a suggestion as to how to change things, or perhaps offer to assist in some way to make things better, or even change the way that you do things as long as it is within the policy. You may also want to concentrate on what you do have control over and do that really well so people start to look at you for direction.

Environment - We all need natural light for our circadian rhythm, as well as for other things. If you work in a place where there is no natural light, then you need to get outside during your scheduled breaks to get sunlight. We need at least 20 minutes of sunlight each day to produce melatonin and serotonin, the stuff that aids sleep.

Changing just one of these five workplace stressors will change your life, and that’s what this is all about, your life.

I Am Stressed, Or Am I?

I hear people say that they are under enormous pressure, stressed, and even depressed. Mostly, they aren't. They just aren't managing their work/home life balance correctly and as a result their brain is looking for ways to help them by working overtime.

We all need pressure - pressure keeps us at our best, our brain likes to work at problems, likes to be moving, likes to discover new things. If we don't have a little bit of pressure in our lives, we would soon become bored. 

The problem is that pressure can build up on us if we don't take time out to relax or to do something to help our brain. When pressure builds up, we start to say to ourselves that we are stressed, so we become stressed. I love the quote "If you think that you are stressed then you are." 

If we stay stressed for too long you may become depressed which is a low mood.

So, what are the signs that you aren't getting the balance right? For most people it is tightness and sore muscles across their back and shoulders. This is due to the muscles constantly being tight from the flight-or-flight response.

Then you might get 'busier' to take your mind off the fact that your brain is continually in overdrive, you can't sit still, you bury yourself in your work, you become focussed on yourself rather than what’s around you. All the things that you shouldn’t be doing!

You might also start to have sleep problems; you may start to eat lots of sugary or processed foods & drinks to keep your energy levels up. Your coffee intake will likely rise also.

If you do not do something at this point, your brain will automatically start to look for ways to help you – your brain will always look at the negative rather than the positive while it searches for the answer. 

At this point you need to take back control, you control your conscious brain but need to work harder to control your sub-conscious brain. If you don't, the consequences can be devastating. 

The next few posts will focus on simple things that you can do to keep a balanced lifestyle and what to do if you are starting to become stressed.

Until then, relax!

Hey Mate, You Don't Look Your Usual Self. Are You Okay?

Friend - "Hey mate, are you okay?" Mate - "I'm fine."

Friend - "Are you sure, you don't look that well?" Mate - "What do you mean?"

Friend - "You aren't your usual self." Mate - "Yes I am, I'm just busy."

Friend - "It's more than that, I can see that you are busy. You don't talk much these days." Mate - "I'm talking now aren't I?"

Friend - "Yeah, but you’re not as talkative as you normally do. And your sentences are much shorter. Want to grab a coffee? " Mate - "I've got too much to do. Maybe another time."

Friend - "You don't look at my face either, it's as though you don't want to look at me." Mate - "Don't be stupid."

Friend - "And you are always flat out doing things. It's as though you are trying to avoid people." Mate - "No I'm not. I told you, I'm fine."

Friend - "And you look unwell mate, kind of pale as though you haven't had enough sun." Mate - "Look, leave me alone, I'm OK, I told you."

Friend - "I read a book recently written by some cop who said that these can be the early signs of stress, maybe even leading to being depressed - a low mood. " Mate - "What would he know, cops think they know everything."

Friend - "Yeah they do don't they. But this one said I should ask you if you want to talk. Maybe even encourage you to get some help." Mate - "I have been feeling down a bit, it's just work. And stuff going on at home."

Friend - "I have heard some people say that I should ask you if you are thinking of killing yourself if I am really concerned about you." Mate - "What the hell."

Friend - "I know, crazy as it sounds. I wouldn't know how to ask you that, I'd probably say something like 'Mate, I'm here for you if you need me, I don't want you to do something that would hurt yourself or others'." Mate - "If I was that sick, would I even listen to you?"

Friend - "I'd hope so mate, I certainly do hope so." Mate - "Things have been getting on top of me lately....."

Friend - "What do you reckon you go and talk with someone who knows about this stuff eh!" Mate - "Would it help?"

Friend - "I think it would. And what can it hurt? I can come with you if you want me to?" Mate - "No, I'll go myself."

Friend - "Promise, you are going to?" Mate - "I probably need to, I just can't stop my brain from thinking dark things and I can't sleep at all. I don't even want to eat sometimes...."

Friend - "Good on you mate, it's for the best. I need you around mate, who else am I going to rely on to keep me straight and honest?" Mate - "Yeah, you do need me around don't you?"

Friend - "We need each other mate, we need each other." 

Time To Move On, Honestly.

Reflecting this week after a busy few weeks with filming, a book launch and lots of interviews, I found myself pondering a few questions;

·        Did I think it all the way through, writing a book, filming a documentary, being interviewed, having my photo taken, and being in the spotlight - No. I never expected so much coverage in such a short space of time and, while kind of nice, it is also a little unsettling and took my mind away from what I should be doing in my business.

·        Was I surprised at the response - Yes. And what a heart-warming and moving experience with so many positive messages, words of kindness, personal stories shared, and not a single negative comment. (That's not an invitation to send me one by the way!) 

·        Would I want to be in the spotlight again - Yes. Being in a job where the majority of your work is negative often distorts your reality. For the most part; people are good, people are kind, people are honest, people don't set out to hurt others. And, people like to see that you are human and that you show it.

·        Was I completely honest to myself in telling my story – No. More than once I thought of suicide, I said that it only happened to me once. There were several other times when I had a fleeting thought and that is all it was, a quick flash which I dismissed immediately. I simply thought of my family and friends and the thought disappeared as quickly as it entered.

·        Would people now think of me differently - Yes. I am sure that the majority of people will see my story for what it was, someone who was working far too hard who ignored the warning signs and tried to work through his thoughts, alone. You should never ever do that.

·        Have I changed - Yes. I have mellowed, I now take time out, I am no longer afraid to show emotion, I no longer care what people say about me, (well, mostly anyway) I am now being me with all of my flaws.

·        Have I learned one important message through all of this - Yes. People are fundamentally good; it is their circumstances that sometimes alters their behaviour.

·        Would I do things in my life differently - Yes. I would have taken more time out, I would not try to do everything all at once, and I would most importantly tell someone if I was feeling down.

With that being said, it is now time for me to move on. This is the last post that I will do about myself, after all it's not all about me (right now my brain is saying "Yes it is, stop saying that”).

From now on, as much as my brain will let me, I want to focus on you. I want to pay you back for your kindness shown to me over the last few weeks. I want to give back to those who have sent me such wonderful messages, one as recently as this morning. I want to help as many people as I can. I want to be there for you like you would have been there for me had I just asked.

Your kindness and humanity overwhelms me, let me pay you back.