I can't remember my first keynote presentation, it was all a blur. I paced the stage going through a presentation by simply following the slides. Apparently, it went okay - but I could not tell.
I got off stage thinking “How do people do this for a living?” And then the rush of adrenaline wore off, replaced by dopamine and endorphins which left me feeling elated.
Having always challenged myself to overcome my fears I saw it now as a challenge to continue keynote speaking alongside the workshops we were running for businesses.
We know now it is important to overcome our fears, or at least do our best to.
I had a fear of heights which, ironically, led me to take up skydiving. While it didn’t cure my fear, it was an extreme experience that taught me a lot about myself.
Perhaps it was the near-death experience of hurtling towards earth when all you can think about is pulling the ripcord that brings clarity to every sense.
As a crisis negotiator, undertaking suicide interventions was another fear I had to overcome. How will I start the conversation, how will I keep the conversation going, what if I say the wrong thing, what if they jump!
Fortunately, no one ever jumped, and I again learned a lot about myself and about others and how to hold a conversation no matter how intense it might be.
Keynote speaking hasn’t come naturally to me. Even after 11 years of speaking, I still get butterflies before every keynote. So why do I keep doing it?
Why do I keep putting myself up on stage under pressure, why don't I just focus on presenting our workshops in a controlled environment?
It is the challenge to overcome my fears that motivates me.
My largest audience to date for a keynote was over 2000 people where I was the opening address at a conference. I was told I was the opener just before going onstage. Awesome, that little rush of fear produced an amazing presentation.
These days I am often asked to open or close a conference which is truly an honour. I also love the most difficult time for keynotes, the first speaker after lunch! I refer to that slot as the graveyard shift, as most people are recovering from lunch.
There was a time early on when I decided to stop being a keynote presenter. I viewed the nerves as stress rather than what I should have viewed it as – being at my best to overcome the challenge.
As soon as I saw it differently it became easier. Excitement and anxiety are processed in the same part of the brain and share the same physical symptoms. Perhaps I was simply seeing it wrong.
Whilst I still get nervous before every keynote - it is those nerves that keep me focused, at my best and provide me with humility.
Stepping out of our comfort zone to overcome our fears is a powerful experience, seeing it differently can be even more powerful.
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