There is not one amongst us who does not have something significant going on in our life that consumes us - financial hardship, domestic violence, racial bias, bullying, physical health issues, age, even death - all of which take a toll on our mind-health (mental health).
Because of this, we each become vulnerable at some point. Vulnerable to anxiety, depression and major health problems. Statistics state that 1-in-5 of us will have a mind-health challenge in any 12-month period, 1-in-2 of us in our lifetime. The statistics are wrong, in my humble opinion.
It might be the work that we are involved with that brings a bias, but I am yet to speak with a person who has not been, is now, or is on the verge of being in a vulnerable situation. And, it is set to get worse unless we do something about it.
Having spent a lot of time working in contact centres coaching on managing vulnerable customers, it is apparent that more and more of us are becoming vulnerable given the increased volume of calls from such people. The biggest contributor seems to be financial hardship closely followed by health issues, physical and/or emotional.
Furthermore, it's not just their customers, it is the staff who deal with vulnerable customers who are also at risk.
Not only are they managing vulnerable people, but they also have their own personal challenges just like the rest of us. Emotional dissonance is a major issue for the customer service industry, being asked to react in a way that is counter to what we as humans will want to react if we feel attacked or emotionally attached.
What can we do to help those of us who have, are, or may be on the cusp of becoming vulnerable? Just like my earlier awakening, knowledge is the key to understanding. Understanding what is going on with the majority of us is a great start and understanding that we can help with empathy without becoming vulnerable ourselves.
The biggest thing we can all do, whether managing a vulnerable customer or when talking with a colleague or friend in a vulnerable situation, is to listen. Listen without fixing.
The next thing we can do is to acknowledge their situation - "Thank you for sharing", "I appreciate you telling me what is going on", "I can only imagine what you are going through", "That must be difficult" - and so it goes.
The third thing that we could do is to share, only if appropriate to do so - "I had something similar happen to me", "You are not alone in what is happening" - to tell the person that they are not alone.
Only if applicable, only if you have established a good rapport, and only if you are genuine, you could ask - "Have you told anyone else", "Are you getting any support", "Would you like me to provide you with details of an organisation who might be able to help".
Leaving a vulnerable person in a vulnerable position without offering support leaves them vulnerable still.
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We Would Love To Work With You!
The Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), Mental Health First Aid and many other mental wellbeing programmes are wonderful initiatives.
The support they provide to those not only in need is incalculable.
As with most things, prevention is the key to avoiding unnecessary harm.
At WARN International, we are committed to providing comprehensive education. Our approach goes beyond immediate care, by focusing on education that encourages people to maintain and improve their wellbeing in the long term.
Following a bout of depression and having had suicidal thoughts, I was personally drawn towards crisis intervention.
The founding of WARN International helped me to combine those skills into the realisation of positively supporting others.
- 30 years working with people in crisis.
- 13 years as a police crisis negotiator, 8 years as NZ’s lead negotiator and instructor specialising in suicide intervention.
- Qualified in NZ and with the FBI
- Trained domestically & internationally with the elite sectors of police, prisons, ambulance, fire, and the military.
- Investigator for the Coroner into causes of suicide.
- Published author of two bestselling books on wellbeing with a third recently released.
- Master of Arts – terrorism, safety & security.
- Diploma in Policing – adult learning and understanding human behaviour.
- Diploma in Business Studies – task analysis, health & safety, emotional awareness.
- Currently working on Diploma in Positive Psychology and Wellbeing.
Our advanced mental health programme focuses firstly on education for prevention by learning how the brain processes information.
Then, how to manage life’s challenges and working through worry.
Next, we examine the signs that you or someone else is struggling and how to guide them towards professional help.
Our techniques are non-confrontational, non-clinical and very effective. Helping people help themselves to give them control and certainty.
Our brain has changed in recent times and so must our responses to challenges. It starts with understanding our own emotions, in other words - emotional intelligence.
We proudly provide this training course to organisations across every business sector including Te Whatu Ora, WorkSafe, emergency responders and mental health first aid providers.
We would love to work with you.
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We Never Forget What It Was Like!
It was recently suggested that I had forgotten what it was like to be a police officer. It was not the time to defend myself, the comment came from someone hurting.
It got me thinking though, have I forgotten?
When I question a tactic used by police it is not an attack on them, it is to offer a different perspective.
Here is what it was like for me as a police officer:
1. I joined the police for job security – I was in construction at the time which is affected by many uncontrollable external factors.
2. I was older and had no qualifications – I had to work harder than most to make the 80% minimum benchmark in the physical and academic entry assessments.
3. Police College was lonely – being away from family was heartbreaking, leaving a wonderful wife & 3 beautiful children for 5 months.
4. Probationary period - for the next two years I was scrutinised by my colleagues, by my supervisor and by the organisation.
5. You see the worst – continuously sent to incidents that were confronting, horrific, emotional and relentless.
6. The extremes of people – I saw the best and worst of people, mostly the worst.
7. My entire life changed – sleep habits, eating habits, family routines, the ability to relax, everything changed. The ‘job’ became everything and I lost perspective.
8. Family connections and commitments were lost – Birthdays, get-togethers, weddings, funerals and special occasions. So many were missed due to work.
9. Irreproachable conduct, 24/7 – police officers face relentless scrutiny in their work and personal lives.
10. Split-second judgements – Decisions must be made in the blink of an eye, which are then judged by others without that same pressure.
11. Policing is bloody hard – Like so many colleagues, I suffered the effects of burnout and depression for several years while continuing to work.
12. I became cynical – Trust no one, trust nothing, only trust in yourself.
13. Retirement was scary - I felt lost, and fearful of the future. Job security no longer a comfort, the uniform not there as a shield.
14. I had changed - policing changed me, that my behaviour affected others, I had become aware that life is so fragile.
15. My biggest regret - I should have spent more time with family and friends. It’s just a job and it will continue without me there!
I am so proud to have been a police officer. I joined for personal reasons and left for personal reasons, yet my time in the police was spent trying to make a difference for others.
I will never forget this wonderful opportunity I had, the police made me who I am today. I hope that it is a better person than I once was.
For those who are considering joining the police, go for it. You will learn so much about yourself and about others.
You can leave the police but the police never leaves you.
A final thought - Hug your loved ones often, live life to the fullest, always do your best, never give up on your dreams and never take life for granted.
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One Small Act Can Have A Massive Impact.
Mind (Mental) Health Statistics NZ – The wellbeing of our family and friends is important to everyone.
Working in mental health for over 30 years, I have tended to focus only on the negative and ignore the positive, because that is where I can help.
There is a lot of good news to be proud of, the Ministry of Health data from a 2023/24 survey revealed that:
• 85% of adults reported they were in good health which is similar to the previous five years.
• A similar number report high or very high family wellbeing and a high or very high level of life satisfaction.
• Nearly all children (96.5%) are reported as being in good health.
The stats on addiction and psychological distress have unfortunately changed for the worse:
• One in six adults has a hazardous drinking pattern - a score of eight or more on the alcohol use disorders identification test.
• 13% of adults experienced high or very high psychological distress.
• High or very high levels of psychological distress has nearly doubled over the last five years - from 8.3 to 13%.
Although the majority of us are doing well, around 1 in 5 adults aren't functioning as well as they could be, and that has a flow on effect in their work and family lives.
We can all do our bit to help those struggling. Often, all it takes is for one person to reach out a helping hand with support which may not seem like much, except to the person struggling.
If you know or see someone who is living alone, who is struggling with a physical or mental challenge, or may be down on their luck, here are five simple steps to help that person:
• Listen - sit with the person and ask them about them. Acknowledge their situation by validating that life can be tough.
• Learn - find out one thing they need that would help them in that moment. Don't guess what they need, ask them what they need.
• Deliver - provide them with that one small thing.
• Reconnect - in a day or two reconnect with that person and see what has changed or what it meant to them.
• Help – if you have additional time, find a way to help people help themselves. Who can you connect the person with who could offer the service or support they need to get them started?
We are a community species that likes to help others. If each one of us did something small each day to help those in need to help themselves, we can improve the distress of those who are struggling.
Yes, there will be some who we cannot help, but that should not stop us from trying. The ripple effect of doing that one thing is exponential, studies show it can impact as many as 100 people.
We've got this, together. Sometimes just a small hand up is all that is needed to set us on the path to recovery.
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10 Years and Counting!
WARN International Limited was incorporated on the 28th of April 2014.
Owning a business is damn hard work, it is a roller-coaster of emotions and it is fraught with risk. Yet, the rewards will overpower the negatives. It is YOUR business, always remind yourself of that!
As we enter our 11th year of business, here are my thoughts on our first 10 years which might be helpful for those considering going into business.
Year 1: What is your point of difference? To stand out from others, particularly when a similar product is already out there, you must offer something different or deliver it differently.
Year 2: Have an escape plan – You will remain nervous in your 2nd year. No matter how much you plan for contingencies there is always a risk. Trust in yourself and be comforted knowing you have a rescue plan.
Year 3: You need more than just a good website - platforms are a must to provide information about your product or service. However, you also need to grab the attention of customers to encourage them to go to your website.
Year 4: You have to do your time – no one is an expert in year 4. Business is like an ongoing apprenticeship; time brings experiences which adds to your expertise.
Year 5: Things seldom go as planned - have a direction but be flexible. If your plan is rigid, you may miss an opportunity. Say ‘yes’ to most opportunities as these will often lead to other opportunities.
Year 6: Personal development is a must - find a business mentor, undertake coaching, and/or become a member of a Business Network to learn and be enthused by others.
Year 7: Never drop the ball - do not become complacent. Just because 50% of businesses make it to Year 5 doesn't mean your business will continue, for you are only as good as your last product or service.
Year 8: Momentum is not enough - never sit still, never rest on your achievements, always push yourself to do more, to do better next time, to do that one last thing when others have finished for the day. There is no such thing as ‘normal’ business hours.
Year 9: Bring back the excitement - congratulations on getting to year 9, you are past the average lifespan of a business. Look back to see how far you've come and recall the excitement you had when you first started, rekindle that excitement.
Year 10: Pay it forward or give back – reward others with your success. Give back to the community and those who need help, pay it forward by helping others who are starting in business.
Year 11: Never ever give up – 65% of businesses fail by year 10. You have made it this far which proves you can do this. Now it is time to reinvent, to reinvigorate, to recapture, whatever it takes to evolve and continue in business.
If you are considering starting a business in 2025, may I wish you every success. Do get in touch, I would love to hear what you are doing and how things are going in YOUR business.
Let’s talk!