The WARN Blog
We see you, those who are hurting, those who have lost loved ones, those who are struggling, and those who found 2024 a difficult year.
Time may not heal, may not help, may not seem possible, yet time brings distance and distance can bring change.
Love to you all, we see you and want you to know that we are here for you if you think we can help.
Together, we’ve got this.
Christmas is a time for reflection on the year gone by and the new one approaching.
For me, it has been the toughest year in the 10 years of being in business. We are fortunate, from what I am seeing of others.
Whether it is because of the topics we offer or how we deliver our programs - we have got through the year with just a few bumps and bruises.
Many have been hit hard this year in their work, their personal life, or both.
If I can offer one piece of advice, that is to use this Christmas as a time of reflection and as a launching pad for the new year.
I was always a proponent of moving forward quickly when tough times happen. Pushing through the emotions to focus entirely on the future.
This had worked but not so much these days. The more I learn about the brain the more I understand the need to stop and feel the pain that tough times bring.
This year I pushed through tough times and hit the proverbial wall. I took a week off and realised how tired I was.
Rest is how we recover, both physically and emotionally. Rest brings reflection. When we rest, we have to stop and think.
Taking the time to stop and think can be scary, yet it is needed if we are to move forward.
Take time off if you can, reflect on the year that has been, and recall the tough times.
Tough times don't necessarily make us stronger but they do make us wiser. This is how we learn from our past, rather than it becoming a trigger that holds us back.
When you've completed your reflection then it is time to reinvigorate. Looking forward, what do you want to achieve in the next year, and how will you go about it?
It is often said that goals should fit the formula of SMART – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, & time-bound.
For me, goals should be one thing – flexible. Life changes fast, so we must be prepared to adjust our goals to suit as needed.
Whatever goals you set for 2025; I wish you the very best at achieving them. That is all we can hope for and all we should expect of ourselves, doing the very best that we can.
Use these holidays to rest, to reflect and to reinvigorate.
I look forward to seeing you achieve your goals, whatever they might be.
Let's talk!
Nighttime can be lonely for those who cannot sleep. Demons tend to come in the dark because of the quiet during the night.
When it seems that everyone else is fast asleep, we lie awake.
I have always been a worrier and never a warrior. I picked it up from my mother, she had a big heart and always worried about everything.
At the age of 16 I hardly slept, barely getting enough sleep to get by. Alcohol and substance abuse to try and get to sleep.
Medication is never the solution; it only adds to the unwanted cycle of worry and despair.
Fast forward 30 years and, once again, sleep evaded me as I dove into depression. Self-medication was the automatic default.
Lying awake at nighttime is desperately lonely, for you are the only one who is suffering. Yet, there are many others who struggle to sleep, you are not as alone as you think.
Fast forward to the present. Sleep still evades me on occasion, particularly when hit by a setback.
Having studied sleep and trialled many ways of getting to sleep, we have put together a document on how to get a better night's sleep. It is yours, available from our website for free!
For me, the number one way of dealing with a sleepless is to accept it, accept that I will have a sleepless night.
With acceptance brings an anchor. The night will be a rollercoaster of high anxiety and, on occasion, calmness. And that is where I find sanctuary.
Remember this, if you are struggling with sleep you will get through the night as it is just your thoughts keeping you awake. Thoughts cannot hurt us unless we allow them to, they are ours to control.
Become a warrior and work through your thoughts to reach the calm.
The sun will come up and you can now work on what's actually worrying you, not what you thought was worrying you.
Let’s talk!
"Why do bad things always happen at Christmas?"
The simple answer is that most of the time, they they don't. It's just that Christmas, and other festive occasions such as birthdays, New Year, etc., act as a marker on which to place the tragedy.
When bad things happen, we they do we look as to why and for a cause we wish we had seen coming.
"If only," we tell ourselves.
Instead of looking for reasons, answers or blame - spend time reflecting on the good memories, or maybe the bad times if that is helpful for your situation.
Bad things happen. Acknowledge it, find out as much as you can about it, help yourself to come to terms with it, and then help others in whatever way you can.
By all means cry, shout, get angry, and express out loud how you feel. That is a good thing to do as suppressing emotions is detrimental to your well-being.
Take as long as you need, don't rush it, and you will know when it is time to move on. When it 'feels' right, start moving forward.
If you have trouble accepting the tragedy or moving forward, ask for help. There is no shame in seeking assistance, it is a sign of strength to do so.
Bad things happen, that is a part of life. Good things also happen which is also a part of life, a bigger part may I suggest. We just don't see the good things when we are sad and down.
Forget the bad things in the past, look to the good things in the future, but always be in the moment.
I wish you and your family the very best for the holiday season, Merry Christmas.
When we are going through a bad patch, when we have been hit with one of life's challenges, we are in pain. Emotional pain!
As we struggle with the problem our brain runs on self-survival mode. We begin to overthink, we begin to catastrophise, and we begin to feel less of ourselves. And that hurts us.
Everything seems insurmountable with just the smallest additional problem adding fuel to the fire that rages inside of us.
Emotional pain can be triggered by sadness, anger, anxiety, shame and guilt. Emotional pain often results in unhealthy coping mechanisms such as increased alcohol or substance use, compulsive behaviour, change in diet and aggression or violence.
When in a bad place we may lash out at others, and often it is those closest to us that bear the brunt of our hurtful reaction.
Because we are hurting does not justify our hurting others, it is however a reason.
We are told that exercise, socialisation, sleep, reading, writing, and any number of other strategies help us to overcome emotional pain.
There is another way that has a deep more meaningful effect on you and on others. It is known as the kindness ripple effect from altruism.
Altruism is the selfless concern for the well-being of others without care of one's own interests. In other words, doing something positive for someone else without expecting a reward. However, we always do receive a reward.
Decades of research have shown that we benefit when we do something for someone else - oxytocin is produced as part of social bonding connecting us with others, it boosts our self-esteem and self-worth, it enhances our well-being, it facilitates post-traumatic growth and improves physical health by reducing stress and lowering blood pressure.
A study conducted in 2018 concluded that performing small acts of kindness for seven days increases happiness with a positive correlation between the number of kind acts and to increased happiness. Karl Jung knew this back in the 1800’s.
Yet it is wider than what he might have envisaged. Altruism has been shown to have an ongoing effect not just for you and the recipient of your act but for the wider community.
A 2020 study concluded that when someone sees another person doing an act of kindness, they are more likely to do so themselves. This effect is tripled over time!
When feeling hurt, do a small act of kindness for someone – smile, thank them, offer food or clothing, spend time with a friend, write a letter of thanks, hug someone you love, or hold a door open for someone.
If none of these suggestions rock your boat, simply remain silent and say nothing when it feels like someone is hurting you. They might just be hurting you because you are hurting them.
We can change our unwanted behaviour; we just have to be aware of what that unwanted behaviour is and how it affects those around us.
Hurting people hurt people, it is not an excuse it is a reason. And that reason is yours to own.
Let's talk!
