It's Time To Think!

If you have ever said - "How did they ever get that job", this post is for you.

If you have ever thought - "I could definitely do better than them", this post is for you.

If you have ever believed - "What would they know about...", this post is for you.

If you have ever wondered - "How the hell did they rise to that level", this post is for you.

If you have ever joked about someone because of their difference, this post is for you.

If you have ever snubbed someone because 'they don't deserve acknowledgement', this post is for you.

If you have ever had a second thought about saying something hurtful but did so anyway, this post is for you.

If you have ever agreed with someone who used a derogatory term, this post is for you.

If you feel like moving on from this post right now, then this post is definitely for you.

If you are still reading this post after all of the above then the chances are that you are not the one that this post is aimed towards. For you are a thinker, inquisitive, wanting to know where this post is going and how it ends.

For you have an open mind, you are curious, you challenge yourself, your thoughts, your emotions.

If you continued reading to this point then chances are you are doing what all of us should do, think.

I am ashamed to say that I would once fit into the above list. On occasion I catch myself still doing it.

We all have biases - learned from those around us - that we must challenge if the world is to be a more inclusive place. If we can think about our biases and change our actions before saying or doing what we do without thinking, then the world would be a much better place.

The greater the inclusivity, the greater the acceptance of differences, the easier it is for everyone to have some input. This equates to a wider range of knowledge and more ideas will be generated.

We can all change. My desire is to for me to continue to change. I will do so by reading posts that oppose my thoughts, that make me feel uncomfortable, that make me question my ingrained thoughts and actions. I will stumble, I will fall, and I will change.

I hope that this post has made you uncomfortable. That means you are thinking, challenging, and changing.

Let's talk!

The Ongoing Impact of Covid-19 On Our Wellbeing - How To Manage It.

I have been contacted by many people over recent weeks, including over the holiday break, concerned about their own wellbeing or that of a loved one. The most common concerns being mood swings, feeling more anxious, having a sense of being overwhelmed, with some believing they are falling down a dark hole.

Owners of successful businesses are having thoughts of abandoning their business despite having been in business for many years. Media reporters, many who have been reporting for 20+ years say they have never seen the hatred and anger they are now seeing.

Every organisation is facing unique challenges, the greatest challenges being trying to manage so much uncertainty and dealing with people with heightened emotions.

A simple search on the internet will reveal that violence has escalated over 30% globally in countries where lockdown was used to control the virus. Councils, government agencies, corporates, in fact every company we now work with are concerned about the escalation in aggression and violence they are facing and very concerned about staff wellbeing.

The cause - emotions. Emotions are coming out; they have to come out as the brain goes through a rebuilding phase following trauma. So why does this phenomenon happen and what can we do about it?

When trauma of any sort happens to us, our brain goes immediately into self-survival. It works overtime to help us get through the trauma to return us to certainty, the way it was before the trauma occurred. It does so by relying on our past as a benchmark.

More recent research, including a few studies following the recovery of those caught in the Christchurch earthquake, show that we do recover over time. It takes time. Two to three years before the emotions come out and five to eight years being the norm for the majority of the population to fully recover.

We can expect the feelings described in paragraph one of this post to continue for at least another two years and then a noticeable change to commence as the recovery begins and our brain finds its new certainty. Economists suggest three to five years before we will see any improvement in our financial resilience.

A study conducted in the UK revealed that lockdown had a huge impact on two critical factors to positive wellbeing - eating healthy foods and regular exercise. In the early stages of lockdown physical activity levels decreased, consumption of unhealthy foods increased, and levels of mental distress also increased correspondingly. 

A June 2022 study published by the University of Otago identified a concerning link between ongoing COVID‑19 disruption and worsening mental health for those most at risk. This study further revealed that the lockdowns disrupted people's circadian rhythm meaning that people were no longer getting a good night's sleep.

A further 2022 study on how the pandemic lockdown affected the wellbeing on Aotearoa New Zealand found that; where individuals were traditionally outwardly focused when looking for work comradery, social support, and health care, a change towards inward focussing behaviours occurred. In other words, we weren't socialising outside of our immediate network. Loneliness rose according to this additional NZ study.

In 2019 our world changed forever when the Coronavirus swept the world. It impacted every facet of our lives and our usual predictable patterns of behaviour where we found solace and security were irrevocably disrupted. Our brain went into hyperdrive to find certainty where there was none to be found.

We are currently in the emotional stage where emotions are coming out and will continue to for the foreseeable future.

The recommendation that we at WARN International make to our clients is to focus on Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Maslow did not have fMRI scanning back in 1943 when he developed this model, he simply studied people's behaviour in times of crisis.

If you want to help yourself and those around you, start with the first layer of his hierarchy, our primary physiological needs of - food, water, shelter, air, and sleep - to bring comfort through certainty. Eat natural foods high in serotonin as serotonin is a mood lifter, drink as much water as you require for your particular needs to keep the body hydrated, home is our shelter and sanctuary so focus on getting things right there, diaphragmatically breathe to fully inflate & deflate your lungs, and get six-to-nine hours sleep each night.

If you do all of these things then chances are you will feel safe & secure (our secondary needs), then focussing on your work will be much easier, hence you will then begin to socialise (tertiary needs) with others, which will lift your self-esteem (quaternary needs) and you will be able to become all that you were meant to become (quinary needs).

If I haven't convinced you that Maslow's model is still important for us, have a look at where the brunt of the aggression is falling currently - shops (provide food), those involved in construction (provide shelter) and hospitals (provide healthcare of which rest [sleep] is a large component of recovery).

City councils are bearing the biggest brunt of the aggression for they control the entire bottom layer of the Maslow model in our lives, our primary needs, though their regulatory teams.

Still not convinced; the two industries globally where people struggle the most with suicide - construction (shelter) and farming (food).

How does exercise fit into Maslow's model - in very early times we had to physically hunt & gather our food - now we don't even have to walk to the supermarket today, we can have our food delivered. Exercise is second only to sleep as a critical need for our wellbeing.

Looking back in time can be very helpful as we move into the future for that is what our brain does naturally to predict our safety moving forward. We are in the moment while our brain is looking to the future to ensure our safety, basing its prediction on our past experiences.

The further back we look the more helpful it can be for our wellbeing. For it was in the very early times of humankind that our fight-flight-freeze responses developed and therein lies the answer to much of our wellbeing issues of today. Simplicity in its purest form.

Focus on the simple things to better-manage the complicated ones. Start small, don't push too hard. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. For, “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” - Confucius.

Let's talk!

Turn Anxiety Into Excitement!

The feelings we experience during anxiety (a fearful/worried state) and the feelings we experience during excitement are physiologically the same. In both situations we breathe shorter and shallower, our heart beats faster, cortisol surges through our veins, and the body prepares for the action of fight or flight.

The only difference between the two is that excitement is a positive emotion whereas fear is not. Alison Wood Brooks from Harvard Business School discovered that people who reappraise their feelings of anxiousness as excitement, felt more excited and performed better in most situations.

When in a state of anxiety, we are reacting from our limbic system, the automatic part of our brain where no thought is required. We are in panic mode to react quickly. When we are excited, the same thing happens, we are reacting from our limbic system. So, what is the advantage of turning anxiety into excitement? When excited we are more likely to take on the challenge.

Fear is an emotion used to keep us safe, usually by avoiding the situation or by going through it with so much caution that we won't perform at our best. If we continually avoid a situation each time that we became fearful we would never learn from the experience and would remain static (stagnant).

It is about changing the way we view our reaction - are we afraid or are we excited? Always choose the latter.

Here's how to change anxiety into excitement. Whenever you feel in a state of anxiety or fear, follow these steps:

  1. Tell yourself repeatedly that you are excited about what is happening around you. If applicable, say it aloud.

  2. Remember that the emotional reaction you are feeling is the exact same reaction as being excited.

  3. Feel the excitement, notice the feeling in your stomach, notice your fast breathing and your heart pounding.

  4. Slow your breathing by taking longer and deeper breathes - slowly inhale for as long as possible, slowly exhale for as long as possible.

  5. Now notice your feelings again, they are the same but 'feel' more positive. Embrace that feeling, get comfortable with it.

Notice the difference, they are the same feelings however your outlook will have changed, you will be in a positive mindset to take on what is confronting you. Simply slow your breathing by inhaling and exhaling deeper. Slowing our breathing slows our heart rate which slows our thoughts, and we will be more likely to take on what's challenging us.

The more I read about the brain the more it is evident that working against it, i.e., forcing ourselves to calm down in an anxious situation, the less likely we are to succeed. It is difficult to calm down with high levels of adrenaline and cortisol surging through our body and brain. Forcing our thoughts does not work, usually it makes things worse.

Simply, changing our physiological response by slowing our breathing results in us more likely to overcome our anxiety and fears. Furthermore, focusing on the positive outcome of overcoming what is causing the anxiety rather than just focusing on the negative emotions will increase the opportunity to turn anxiety into excitement.

As we move into the 2023 working year, we will all be facing new challenges. Start the year with a positive mindset of taking on all new challenges in both your work and personal life, don't shy away from them. For we are all better and stronger than we think we are, we just need to keep reminding ourselves of it.

Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable makes the uncomfortable more comfortable. Just slow your breathing!

Let's talk!

You Are Stronger Than You Think You Are.

Your mind and body are stronger than you think!

I recently completed a 6km obstacle course, Ultimate Athlete. A challenging course along the sand (yep, sand running!) with 20 obstacles including a skate ramp, inverted wall and jerry can carry.

Unfortunately, in the days prior, I faced an early obstacle (pun intended). Battling a case of food poisoning. The night before the big day, I was up sick for most of the night and had very little sleep.

On the morning of the race, in crept that little voice, you know the one:

🗣️ “You’re not a runner.”

🗣️ “You have just had food poisoning. Are you insane?”

🗣️ “Everyone else there is so much fitter than you.”

🗣️ “You aren’t strong enough to complete those obstacles.”

🗣️ “You might be sick on the course.”

🗣️ “You will look stupid when you don’t finish”

🗣️ “This is something your father would do!”

6:30 am - decision time. To let the team know I couldn’t make it, rest and catch a bit of FOMO – or show up.

Couldn’t let the team down, who does that? I told my team that I would be there, and I want to be there for them. The worst-case scenario is: to arrive and be too sick to complete the race. It’s game time. Down a little concoction – electrolytes, an anti-nausea pill and a shot of espresso. The next minute, there I am standing with my team at the start line ready to head off for the beach run.

Guess what happened? No throwing up. Ran (almost) the entire way. When the thought of giving up came to mind – those around me gave me an extra boost to keep going.

I completed the race and got a cool medal to show for it.

Now, let’s break down some of the thoughts I had prior:

“I’m not a runner.” I have always told myself this. However, knowing this challenge was coming up, I had been heading out for runs, trying to tick something off I wouldn’t normally do. Taking the small steps to make this big thing happen. 

“You’ve been sick. Are you insane?” – potentially true, but this kind of self-talk is a little harsh don’t you think? Let’s reframe it, “Haley, you are so ambitious.” – hah.

“Everyone else is so much fitter than you.” Also accurate, but if we all thought this way - none of us would achieve anything.

“You aren’t strong enough to complete those obstacles.” Turns out this one was also true. With the support of my team, however, I got through it. We can achieve more than the mental barriers we set for ourselves with the right people around us.

“You might be sick on the course.” A perfectly valid concern - my risk management tool (mind) is working as it should be here.

“This is something your father would do.” Comes across as a little aggressive, and perhaps a little critical towards him (love you, Lance Burdett!). Note: his first comment after finding out what I did was, whilst shaking his head, “Haley, you are too much like me.” In reality, how much has he achieved? Is he successful? Is he doing things he never thought he could? I think we all know the answer to that – perhaps following in his footsteps IS the right thing to do.

So, would I recommend you do what I did, and complete a race on very little fuel and very little sleep? No... You might ask why I’m sharing all this then. To show how we are all better and stronger than we think we are. We can push past our barriers, and we can work with that little voice inside of us. We can take on challenges that come our way or we can retreat from them. Growth comes from doing, not from retreating.

Additionally, having good people around us who are willing to lift us up - whether that be by cheering you on from the sidelines or by literally hoisting you up – (as pictured) can make a world of difference to your achieving your goals.

Haley Burdett - Online Learning Manager - WARN International Ltd

#mindhealth #mentalhealth #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #courage #goals #goalsetting

Managing An Angry Person.

When people are in a heightened state, they can find it hard to focus on rational thoughts.

➡️ Often, saying nothing or simply agreeing with how they feel can help reduce conflict.

Here are some other tips for dealing with the angry 😡:

👉 Stand tall with your head up, shoulders back, and hands by your side. This shows that you are ready to listen, and also indicates that you are not going to be submissive.

👉 Listen to what they are saying. When they have finished their 'vent', paraphrase back to them what they said related to the facts of what they are yelling about. (i.e., you are here to talk about .....).

👉 Reduce your eye contact to half of what you would usually do, 30% instead of 60%.

👉 The person will come at you again, repeat the process. Keep your hand movements to a minimum.

👉 If you can, hold something in your hand such as a notebook or pen. This will help relax your facial muscles and give you the feeling of support. (Try it now, stand up with your hands by your side without anything in your hands and then pick something up. Note how you feel more relaxed yet confident).

👉 If you can, invite the person to sit down. This will reduce their anger as they won't have a strong foundation on which to rage.

👉 Go through their issue without taking any notes, this is called free recall. Ask them to go through it again and tell them that this time you will be taking notes. Going through it twice reduces the tension, clarifies the situation, and allows them to tell their story at least twice to ease built-up tension.

👉 If you can, get them to make notes also. When we write words by forming letters we go to our logic brain rather than remain in our emotional brain. Use the word important throughout the conversation, because it is important to them.