My name is Lance and this is my picture.
There are numerous quotes about the benefits of stepping outside of our comfort zone – It is not as scary as it looks, Growth happens in discomfort, Our comfort zone is in our danger zone, and so it goes.
People told me that taking on my fears would be exciting, that I would learn about myself, that I would grow. That never happened for me as a child!
Doing things outside of my comfort zone made me feel even more inferior to others than I already felt.
Recently, while attending a 6-day course for a Diploma in Positive Psychology and Wellbeing run by the wonderful Dr Denise Quinlan and Sue Langley of the Langley Group, we were asked to draw a picture.
Oh good, I thought, another opportunity to make a fool of myself!
We had just been talking about emotions and how they affect every part of our lives.
Through the work that we do in WARN International, I have learned that if we focus on what we love when stepping into the unknown, it gives us something to hold on to, and helps us reduce our fear.
Another of the many mantras we prescribe to - When times get tough, hold on to what you love. In those tough times go with your heart and not your head because your heart will always know best.
This concept comes from my time as a crisis negotiator. When someone is struggling, we talk to them about what has kept them going to lift their mood. This hook is something that they love dearly.
I chose to draw a heart on my blank canvas, well kind of a heart. Recalling the few times I've been challenged about the concept of the heart overruling the head, I painted a brain beneath the heart to imply our heart is always more important when we are in a dark place.
Within our hearts, there are always dark things, the black dot. Within our brains, there are always bright things, our memories. So, I connected the heart and brain in a circular motion to join the two as happens in our body, with the two connected to our gut.
If we can learn to go with our head for rational decisions, and to go with our heart when our head is overwhelmed with negative emotions then decisions will generally be the right ones.
The yellow in the picture shows that we have far more brightness in our lives than darkness, it is just that the darkness impacts us more deeply than the brightness. The flecks of yellow in the black indicate that there will always be a little brightness within those dark places if we know how to find it.
To take on tough times we must learn to step outside of our comfort zone, to become uncomfortable as we find our way back to true comfort, being connected with our world.
If you think back to the challenges that you have faced and how difficult it seemed at the time, and then compare them to where you are now, the chances are you will see how important it is to always hold onto your heart in those times.
What got you through those tough times? I suggest it was something that you loved dearly.
Let's talk!