As someone who struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts, I found it so hard to reach out for help. Fears were holding me back - what will people think, will I be judged, will they think I'm weak, what will happen to me if I do, what stigma is attached, what.... - so many fears to consider when we aren't in a good state to consider them rationally. Everyone knows that we can and should reach out for help, yet so many don't. Why, the reasons are many and differ for each of us.
While going through my emails this morning, a message stood out because is had so few words. No title, no explantion, just this....
Dark Side of the Brain - Page 108 saved my life last night
I copied it here in bold and italics to stand out for you as you read that sentence because it stood out for me, it hit me, hard. I teared up. I immediately went and read page 108 of my last book - Dark Side of the Brain - and here's the first few words of that chapter titled; I am Thinking of Killing Myself.
If you are reading this and feeling suicidal right now, I implore you to reach out to someone for help. Don't go with your gut instinct - your gut isn't working properly. Don't try to work through it, it's much easier to have someone to help and support you. It need not be someone close that you reach out to. You might find it easier to speak with someone who knows you from a distance. If you can't think of anyone to reach to, phone or text a helpline - there's a list of them on page 259. In New Zealand, I recommend calling or texting 1737.
This person did reach out and was kind enough to allow me to post their message. My reply was simple - Oh my gosh {name removed}, what a wonderful and scary message to receive. I should have started my reply with, Thank you for your courage.
It does take courage to reach out, courage and determination to survive. Furthermore, we must also to be in a lucid state of mind to know that we must reach out. Although they are far between and only momentary, clarity does come to us when we are struggling with dark thoughts. That is the time to act fast, yet we seldom know that it is a short point of clarity.
Instead, we hold on to that little glimmer of hope that we are getting better. We aren't. It's just our mind in respite, having a rest before it starts again in its fruitless attempt to help us. We have to help our mind in these situations, our mind won't help us, its simply working on autopilot as it continues to remind us of our past.
To that person who reached out and connected, thank you for your bravery. Thank you also for messaging me with your heart-warming message, And, thank you for coming back to me again, twice more.
Know that as you get well, there is always someone willing to help. Know that you will work through this challenging time despite how hard it may seem right now. Know that you will no doubt go on to achieve wonderful things. You now know something that few get to know - that we are all stronger than we think that we are.
Know also, you have been given a gift, a gift of survival. It is our duty, those of us who had that lucid moment and courageously reached out for support, to pass on that gift to others. A gift that we all have, if we just had that lucid moment. If you are strugging right now, reach out.
If you have lost someone who was unable to reach out, know that's most likely because they never had that lucid moment, that glimmer of clarity. They were also brave and courageous because they fought so hard.
Let's talk! It is important that we all do so.