Work With The Flow, Not Against It.

As we go through various levels of change in our new world, nothing changes when it comes to our wellbeing. Having seen, read, and researched about wellbeing, we can make predictions about what most of us will be seeing and feeling as we learn to adapt to our ever-changing world.

The rules are very much the same when managing any of life's challenges:

  1. Take your time - as you work through the whatever issue you face, don't make any rash decisions or say things that you might later regret. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

  2. Find the facts - limit where you seek guidance from to just a few reputable sources, and fact check those sources.

  3. Focus on your immediate needs - food, water, shelter, and social connection. Importantly, breathe fully as you go through your day.

  4. Take action - our mind likes to work so get it working on taking positive action.

  5. Seek help - always seek professional help if you are truly struggling with negative thoughts.

Our brain prefers to run in a pattern and may find it discomforting when the pattern is disrupted. Our neural pathways are why we have habits, why we run in patterns, and why we enjoy certainty. These pathways have been described as superhighways, the more that we do something or think about something the larger and stronger the highway becomes.

I prefer to think of neural pathways as rivers. Why?

A superhighway is difficult to get off, you have to force your way through traffic to the side of the highway, remaining highly alert as you do so to avoid having an accident. Then, you have to continue along the highway waiting for an offramp that leads you to who knows where. Fight against the flow of traffic and it is likely that you will cause carnage.

A river on the other hand, can be much easier to get out from. Slowly work your way to the shore using the energy of the water to support and guide you. There is no need to look out for others, just yourself, as you slide off to the side towards the riverbank. You can see where you are heading as you move slowly towards the riverbank and can also see the sanctuary of solid ground on both sides of the river that will provide additional comfort.

Try to fight against a river and it will simply spin you around without too much harm. If you do go under the water take a deep breath knowing that you will always pop back up at some point. Think to yourself, 'for this too shall pass', eventually.

When struggling with negative thoughts, use the energy around you rather than fight against it. Take small steps rather than large ones, relax in the flow when you need to, watch the direction of the current to see where you are heading, focus solely on staying afloat, and shout out to a lifeguard if ever you need one.

The flow of the river will always take you close to shore at each bend, keep working your way towards the shore and climb out of the river when the time is right for you, not when there is a predetermined offramp.

For those of you who might be thinking that a river is not a good analogy because rivers can be too strong to climb out from, reduce the size of your river by focussing on what is directly in front of you in the knowledge that you can form a new river by digging at the side of the bank of the fast-flowing river to form a tributary. Change one small thing each week.

It is far too difficult to change the flow of a superhighway, for it is fixed in place.

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