Why Wait!

Have you noticed how our brain tries to trick us into waiting for the right moment? "When I get some money I will give more to charity". "When I have more time I will become a coach". 

Or perhaps you might tell yourself I will just wait until X happens before I start doing Y such as; “I will get fit once Christmas is over”. Or maybe you make excuses like "They can afford to do that, I would do the same if I was in his or her position". 

Procrastination is one thing, making excuses to postpone something is quite different.

Timing is never going to be perfect, ask any winning athlete and they will say that they had a lot of injuries to overcome and weren't as fit as they had hoped but nevertheless they won their competition. They probably surprised themselves.

Instead of waiting, start it now. An idea comes into your head for a reason so act on it. It’s never going to be perfect timing therefore you have to make it so.

Should I Say Sorry?

It is always good to say "sorry" in certain situations, in fact I recommend doing so. In my opinion, the word sorry should only be used in two situations;

1.      When you have made a mistake.

2.     When you have a personal relationship with someone and they tell you about something bad that happened to them.

The downside of using the word sorry is that your brain registers it as something meaningful to you and plays on your mind. I bet that when you have said sorry to someone you would have thought about the situation later in the day. Why, because sorry is such a personal word.

To overcome this dilemma, here are two strategies that you may wish to consider when use of the word sorry.

Mistakes

If you make a mistake, by all means use the word sorry. It is more personal and if said immediately with sincerity it will gain rapport. If someone else has made a mistake, try using the word apologise.

The word apology is more formal and your brain does not register the situation as personal to you therefore you won't think about the situation negatively when reflecting later in the day.

Sad News

If someone tells you sad news, such as they have lost a loved one, and you do not have a close relationship with that person, try to avoid using the word sorry by itself such as "I'm so sorry" or “I’m so sorry to hear that”. Extend your sentence by saying "I'm so sorry for your loss", or "I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you". That way your brain knows that it is not something personal to you.

If you wish to, you can also acknowledge their emotion by saying something like "That must have been/be hard for you", or "How can I make this easier for you", or perhaps "Thanks for sharing that with me". 

If the person is overcome with grief or emotion, start asking short questions that they find easy to answer and will allow them to regain self-control. Ask questions such as "Would you like to take a break", "Would you like to call me back", "What time would you like to call back", or "Is there someone that I can call for you". 

The word sorry is a powerful word and saying sorry is a good thing, but use the word wisely otherwise it becomes meaningless and will negatively impact on you.

Routine Vs Rut

For me, having a daily routine is a good thing as it has many benefits; it gets my day off to a good start, my day is pretty much planned for me, I know what to expect and when to expect it, a routine forms a pattern of behaviour.

Unfortunately, there are down sides to a routine; there is no unpredictability in my day and if the unpredictable does come along I get frustrated at the interference. Additionally, there is no excitement about a routine which can lead to feelings of being stuck in a rut.

I find that I enjoy a pattern of work when I am not travelling – I get up at 6:00, write a post, take a shower, have breakfast, check my emails, make some phone calls, have lunch, attend meetings, make some more calls, check my emails (again), go to the gym, eat dinner, check my emails (yep, again), take a shower, watch a bit of television and go to bed. 

Sometimes it can seem like 'ground hog' day doing the same thing the same way. The way that I have found to gain the benefits of having a routine and introducing unpredictability in my day is to change how I do things. 

So, to keep to a routine yet make each day different I will break the routine by doing whatever pops into my mind at the time of each task. The routine tasks remain in the same order, I simply introduce impulse to each task – I will post on whatever comes to mind when I sit down, I will eat something different at each meal, I never workout the same way across the week, I do something different to break the habitual cycle.

By doing this, when the unpredictable does come along and break my routine I embrace it for what it is, excitement in my day.

If you can't change what you do, change the way that you do it.

New Year's Resolutions, Why You Should Set Them.

By now you will have seen a proliferation of posts about the pros and cons of setting New Year's resolutions so I will keep my thoughts on this topic short.

I believe that they are a good thing, and you should set at least one. Here's why I think that they are a good thing;

·        They focus your attention on positive things.

·        They provide momentum in your life.

·        They set a target, something tangible to aim for.

·        You are challenging yourself, no one else.

As long as you keep things in perspective, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by setting New Year’s resolutions.

Some say that you don’t need New Year’s resolutions to make a go of life and that you should just set a goal and go for it at any time ion the year. For some of us however, we need to have a definitive start point.

Others say that failing at New Year’s resolutions can increase your negative emotions. They are right, but only if you see the failure as a failure. Not achieving a resolution is just that, you haven’t achieved it, yet.

If you have a setback in your resolution, reframe your thoughts and get straight back to it. If you let yourself down know that at least for a short period of time you worked towards a goal. And that is what matters the most, you started.

Don’t dwell on the negative, you haven’t failed, you just had a setback. Get straight back to your resolution and keep working on it. By doing so you will soon form a habit, a positive habit.

Ignore those who say that New Year’s resolutions will only lead you to disappointment. What would they know about you.