Why Ask Why?

Perhaps the one word that can destroy rapport faster than any other during a conversation with a client is the word "why".  When you commence a sentence with 'why' when you want to know the reason for their actions, it places unnecessary blame on the client.  A better phrase to commence a sentence is "What was the reason for..."  It is asking the same question yet much softer and without a direct accusation.    

An example; "why was the door unlocked" as opposed to "what was the reason for the door being unlocked".  It is less accusatory and provides the client with an open opportunity to explain.  In this way you are more likely to get an honest answer because they won't feel threatened.

There is nothing wrong with asking why they think something occurred provided it is not directly related to their own actions.  Asking "why do you think that happened" provides an open invitation to provide their thoughts. 

Why Should I Help Out More?

I often used to think that I was just too busy to help out with a particular cause, not earning enough money to make regular donations to a charity, or too many other 'things' in my life to trouble myself with stopping to chat to someone who you may or may not know.

Too late in life I have learned that taking time to help out others, making regular donations to a charity, spending time with family, and the many other things that I have previously dismissed or disregarded could have added so much more value to my life.

I used to read that when you give something out the universe will pay you back more than you ever gave.  Really?  Who is going to believe that?  Well, I can tell you as previously the biggest cynic on this point, it works.  

The next time you think that you don't have the time to spend working for a good cause, can't afford to donate a modest sum to a charity, or go to walk passed the person you maybe should stop and say hello to, do so.  You may not get back exactly what you gave, it will return to you in many different ways and with greater rewards.  Try it and see!

Making Difficult Decisions

We often find ourselves struggling with a difficult decision.  We can get so tied up with it that it eventually overpowers our brain and we become confused and overwhelmed.  It seems the harder we concentrate, the longer it takes to reach a decision.  The reason for this is that when we have been concentrating on the one thing for so long we become tense and we aren't using all of our brain.

The next time you have to make a difficult decision, try this;

• Concentrate hard on the problem, write it down, come up with alternatives, really focus intensely on it.
• Stop when you think that you have reached a conclusion and go for a walk, take a shower, watch TV, whatever you can to forget about the problem.
• Return to the problem after your brain has relaxed and you will find the resolution comes with ease.

Our brain is like any other part of our body, if we use only one part of it for too long at maximum capacity it will become tired and prone to injury.  By relaxing it, all of the neurons will come into play and link across your entire brain rather than heading to the one spot.

Just Say NO!

As our workload increases at work, we know in the back of our minds that we should just say "no" but often we hear ourselves saying "no problem" instead. So how do you say no?

You could make an excuse, tell a little white lie, spend time explaining how busy we are, or avoiding the need to answer right away by asking if you can come back to them once you have had time to prioritise your workload. The problem with these strategies are that they are untruthful or delay the inevitable and only add to your bucket of stress.

Next time you are asked to take on an additional task that you know will place you under more pressure, try saying no immediately. If the requester pushes you further, then add that you won't be able to give the task your utmost priority and could make a mistake. Then, provide alternatives such as splitting the task between others, giving it to someone else as a development opportunity, or ask if it can be delayed until your existing workload is reduced.

Saying no to additional work can be uplifting if used correctly.

Why Don't I Just give Up?

When faced with a continuing difficult situation, or perhaps you have tried something time and time again and not succeeded, what is the point of going on?  Why don't we just give up and move on?  Wouldn't that be much easier?  Why should I put all this effort into something that may never work?

We would be in pretty bad shape if everyone had taken that view and just given up when things got hard.  There would be no progress in the world.  It is important to keep going despite setbacks and the inevitable self-doubt.  The situation may change at the very next attempt, the next phone call, with the next meeting, or perhaps the next interview.

Sir Winston Churchill said it best, "If you are going through hell, keep going".  Although the context in which this was said was quite different, the meaning is the same.  Keep going, do persevere, hang in there, you just never know what is around the corner.